A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "why the long face?" The horse does not reply as it is a horse and horses cannot speak. The bartender realises his stupid mistake and calls the farm the horse came from. The horse is taken back to the farm and fed some hay. The bartender carries on living his life and then dies of natural causes at a very old age.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Your mother is so heavy that she decided to try out nutrisystem

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Why is six afraid of seven? Because seven has an extra penis

thumb_up thumb_down +31

c======3

thumb_up thumb_down +29

You: Hey, I have a good knock knock joke, here, you start! -and if all goes well...- Them: Knock knock! You:Who's there? Them: Uhh...

thumb_up thumb_down +29

If the blue man lives in the blue house, and the yellow man lives in the yellow house, who lives in the white house? The blue man. He has made a good living with a high salary and has enough money to afford two houses.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

What is funnier than a dead baby? almost everything. there is nothing funny about a dead baby.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

What's worse than stepping on a piece of gum? A clown following you around all day throwing toothbrushes at you. ___ Zertop™

thumb_up thumb_down +29

What do Michael Jordan and Michael Jackson have in common? The same first name.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock Knock Who's there? Not Sally

thumb_up thumb_down +29

How many fingers do u have? 11 Start with left pinky count 10,9,8,7,6 then 6+5=11

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Why did Timmy miss school? He was killed in a tragic school bus accident

thumb_up thumb_down +27

why did hitler hate the jews... because the nazies had to pay the gas bill

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Know whats worse than a worm in your apple? Getting fridges thrown at you.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Q : How many babies do you need to paint a wall A : It depends on how hard you throw

thumb_up thumb_down +27

What does a penguin and a watermelon have in common? They all come from Earth.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

A bloke walks into a bar. He doesn't say 'ouch' because it was a public house and not a hard surfaced object as you may have thought initially

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Why did the the chicken cross the road? So he wouldn't be late for his annual check up at the clinic across the street.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

What's red and bad for your teeth A brick

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Why was the family sad? Their house burnt down.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

John: Knock knock Jack: Who's there? John: Whale Jack: I don't know a Whale, go away. John violently rips off Jack's cock in becaus he's sick of his shit.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

John went to the shop to purchase a can of coca cola. He left the shop with a can of coca cola.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

How do you burn Lebron James's house? With fire.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Why did the little girl go to the hospital?........................Beacuse she fell when trying to steal cookies out of the cookie jar on top of the fridge.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops