Walking down a cold, lonely, deserted street is a 10 year old who lost her parents. she has with her in plain sight her fathers wallet, so full of cash that it is literally too full. all of a sudden, a black man with a gum jumps out from around the corner. he then proceeds to mug her and shoot her. thanking the man for playing cops with her using finger guns, she goes home with a new coffee mug and a stick of gum. she died three days later from unrelated incidents.

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What's black and white and red all over? An embarrassed skunk.

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Why was Stephanie sad? She dropped a washing machine on her toe

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What happened to the teenager who was raped and murdered? Who knows? They never found the body.

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Knock Knock! Whos There? Little boy blew! Little boy blew who? Micheal Jackson....

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What did dyslexic Old McDonald say? . . . I have a learning disability that impairs my fluency and comprehension accuracy in being able to read and spell

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pickles are green infection is yellow all the girls i know call me a good fellow

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Why didn't the skeleton go to the dance ?... because he was dead

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Why was the blond stupid? She wasnt, its just that everyone loves stereotypes

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread

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Did you hear about the little girl who got a bike for her birthday? Shes dying of Terminal Cancer

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A giraffe walks into a bar.... just kidding, a giraffe wouldnt fit in a bar.

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Roses are rose, violets are violet, that's just a fact, I've got aspergers.

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A black guy, a white guy, and a mexican are on a boat, stranded in the middle of the ocean. Feeling a bit hot due to the above average temperature of an early april afternoon, the white guy and the mexican strip down to enjoy a refreshing dip in the water a few feet from the boat. The black guy, feeling a bit left-out and perhaps even envious at the apparent fun of the other two, speaks up "Hey fellas, do you think one of you could come sit in the boat so it doesn't float away so that maybe I can enjoy the water too?" Hearing this, the white guy and the mexican look at each other utterly astonished. Grasping for a rebuttal, the white guy gathers some courage and says "Do you really think that's a good idea?... You JUST finished your sandwich."

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What is long and black? The line at KFC

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A Mexican, Asian, and a black guy are on a bridge, the Mexican says there is too much rice and throws some off the bridge, the Asian says there are too many burritos and throw some off the bridge, the Black says there are too many candles in his house and throws his car off the bridge. Everyone was happy and left besides the Black because he threw his car off.

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Q: What do you call a vacuum that doesn't suck stuff up? A: A broken vacuum.

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how do you scare a blonde person? dress up in orange and scream "mustard"

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Whats the difference between a pile of dead babies on fire and a pile of living babies on fire? The dead babies are usually not as loud.

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How did Steve Jobs die? Of cancer, in a bed, and surrounded by his loved ones.

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Whats worse than passing out drunk and having your friends draw on your face? When you die of alcohol poisoning in the morning

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is this the krusty krab? no this is smooth lobster.

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Why did the Hispanic man have drugs in his pocket? He had just gone to the pharmacy.

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A black man walks into a store. As he leaves, the detector goes off. It turns out the sales clerk had forgotten to take out one of the tags on his purchase. The sales clerk promptly took it off, and the man left to enjoy the rest of his day.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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