what did the paraplegic man get for Christmas? a unicycle

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What would you do for a Klondike Bar? Well I would open the freezer.

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A baby seal walks into a club. He is immediately escorted out because babies are not allowed in clubs.

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Whats the square root of pie? Pies are round.

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where would you find a blind man's car? exactly where he left it...

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Bob has 80 chocolate bars, he gives 5 to his uncle,10 to his mother and 8 to his freind. He then eats 40 chocolate bars. Q. How many chocolate bars has bob got left now? A. Bob has no chocolate bars left. Shortly after Bob ate 40 bars he was diagnosed with diabetes. He then died of a heart attack due to high cholesterol.

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A girl asks a Croatian bartender for a beer, the bartender replies, 'There is no beer in this bar.'

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What do you do when a red gorilla comes running at you with 7 dominoes in his hand Ask him to stop

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so a blonde walks into a bank, opens her purse, pulls out her check and cashes it. She then returns to her car and proceeds home.

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How do you turn a dishwasher into a snowblower? Give her a shovel

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Why didn't the chicken cross the road? because it got shot before it could get there.

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Man: What is the meaning of life? God: Buffalo wings. Lots and lots of buffalo wings.

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why is it good to be a fireman? because they save lives

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What did the blind and deaf kid get for christmas? Cancer.

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What did the plane say to the twin towers? Boom

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What's under the first mate? The second mate.

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An escalade with 5 black men crashes off a cliff and all of them die. this is terrible. an escalade seats 7.

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roses are red violets are blue i have some cheese im going to eat it

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Why did the black man across the road? just kidding he didnt make it across the road i hit him with my car

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roses are red, violets are blue, Hitler killed 6.6 million jews.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? One is a human being belonging to a particular religious minority and the other is a delicious Italian food favoured by English speaking western cultures. The problem with this anti-joke is that the facts are not correct, pizza was originally invented and China; however,it looked quite different then what might be considered pizza by our standards, when pizza was brought to Italy it was improved to make what we now consider pizza in modern times. While some people may consider pizza an Italian food, this would be failing to give credit to the Chinese who invented it.

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Three Jewish men walk into a butcher. They dont buy any pork products and thank the butcher for his services.

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What did the whale do when he was angry? He beached himself, causing a major ecological disaster and costing the beach community thousands of dollars to return him to the water.

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What do you do when a dog chews your pen? Use a pencile instead.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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