What's a boomerang that doesn't come back? A stick

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The only positive thing in my life, is the HIV test! Lymmel

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Hey, Batman Yeah? Knock Knock Who's there? Not your parents!

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Hi im a joke i eat turtles

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Why did the black guy have a bunch of marihuana? He was the owner of a shop that sold it for medical purposes.

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A muslim walks out of a plane.

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roses are red violets are blue i've got alzheimer's ...

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What do you call an Ethiopian with a yeast infection? Quarter pounder with cheese.

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You wanna hear a clean joke? Mary takes a bath with bubbles. Wanna hear a dirty joke? Bubbles is a man.

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why did the baby fall down the stairs? i pushed it.

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Why did a homeless man eat another man's face off? Because he was hungry.

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make me a sandwich! what kind?

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Why were the parents sad? Because their son had a frog stapled to his face and was trying to eat his ice cream on a swing, but he had no arms so he dropped his ice cream into the street and he chased after his ice cream and got hit by a bus

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Why did the sailor fall off the boat? Because vampires arent real.

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What do you get a man that has evreything? Aids

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why did the koala fall out of the tree? It was dead How did the second koala fall out of the tree? it was hit by the first one how did the third koala fall out of the tree? it thought it was a game and jumped off

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Q: How many teenagers does it take to change a lightbulb? A: None, they just sit in the dark and complain about it.

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Two men were standing on the 34th floor of a 65 floor building. They were trapped in a office with one window. here is their conversation: guy1: oh no what should we do??? guy2: I don't know!! this is awful!!! guy1: I have children and a loving wife!!! guy2 walks to the window sill and leans over. guy1: what are you doing? there is more to life we can get through this!! guy 2 jumps out the window guy 1 runs to the window sticks his head out and yells "MAKE MINE CHOCOLATE!!!"

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A train conducter conducts goes at 60mph, when he goes under a bridge he goes at 52mph. When he goes over a hill he goes at 47mph. If he goes under 3 bridges and over 6 hills what did the conductors mother eat for dinner that night. Nothing, after many months of suffering she died from Huntington's disease.

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Why can't Vampires go out in the sunlight? Because they don't exist.

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"Knock knock!" "Who's there?" "Red." "Red who?" "Red any good books lately?" Suddenly, the séance lost credibility.

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how do you stop a baby from crying? Slit its throat

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What do you get when you come across a duck and a moose? Nothing...What do you think you deserve a prize or something?

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Haikus are simple but sometimes they don't make sense refrigerator.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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