Chuck Norris has appeared in several action films.

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There were 3 men on a rough each granted one wish to make. The first guy sees a bird and runs and jumps off the ledge and wishes to be a bird and he flies away. The second guy sees a butterfly so he too runs and jumps off the ledge and wishes to be a butterfly and flies away. The third guy telling himself those were all stupid wishes, makes up his mind what he is going to wish for so he runs to the ledge and just after he says "I wish to be" he trips on the ledge and says, "shit!" So his wish was granted and shit he became. The End.

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A man and a friend are playing golf one day. One of the guys is about to chip onto the green when he sees a long funeral procession on the road next to the course. He stops in mid-swing, takes off his golf cap, closes his eyes, and bows down in prayer. His friend says: "Wow! That is the most thoughtful and touching thing I have ever seen. You are truly a kind man." The other man replies, "Yeah, well, we were married 35 years."

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roses are black your mamas white i didnt mean to say it but it's right

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9 Cats on a boat. One Jumped off, how many left? 8.

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What do you call a man without any money? Broke.

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Why was billy sad? He was being brutally hacked to peices behind his garage

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Why can't Stevie Wonder read? He has retinopathy of prematurity and was born blind.

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why did every one care when i killed my self they didn't

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Q) How do you kill a blue elephant? A) Shoot it with a blue elephant gun. Q) How do you kill a pink elephant? A) Hold its trunk until it turns blue, then shoot it with a blue elephant gun. Q) How do you kill a white elephant? A) Tickle it until it turns pink, hold its trunk until it turns blue, then shoot it with a blue elephant gun.

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Roses are red. Violets are grey. People hate me. Mongoose.

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Q. What happened to the women who cut her finger? A. she got staff infection and died.

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why did the black go to the KFC because he likes fried chicken

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Why couldn't the kitten drink its milk? Because its owner was neglecting him and the kitten later died of malnurisment

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Q:Why is the WMBA so unsuccessful? A:Barely anyone watches it

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What's worse than finding a work in your apple? The Holocaust.

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What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Finding two worms. What's worse than finding two worms in your apple? Dying from cancer.

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How do you make your mom mad? Burn down the house and eat the dog.

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Do you know why one side of the V formation that geese fly in is longer than the other? Because there's more geese on that side.

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Whats brown and a fag? A bundle of sticks

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how do you make Will Smith cry? cut off his toes and fingers.

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Knock, Knock Who's there? Boo Boo Who? Boo Smith

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jack and jill went up a hill so jack could lick jills candy but jack got a shock and a mouth full of C O C K cause jill's real name was randy... ... and joe diragi liked it

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Q. How can you tell if your arm is broken? A. Break it.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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