A duck walks into a bar and buys a drink. When the bartender comes up he says put it on my bill

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What did the boy with no arms and legs get for his birthday? A bike

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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what did the computer say to the tv? computers are not living there for they cannot talk

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A blonde rubs a lamp hoping to find a genie that will grant her 3 wishes. It didn't happen.

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what happened to the girl next door ? she was brutally murdered.

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What's silent but deadly? A baby falling from a 10 story building

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yo mamas so ugly.... everyone died. the end.

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that awkward moment when there is no candy in the van.....

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What do you call a remote that does not work? a remote that does not work.

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I'm so full I could stop eating.

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What's green, has six legs and would kill you if it fell on you out of a tree? A pool table.

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Roses are gay, Violets are gay, I am gay.

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What do you call a black man driving a nice luxury sedan? A man who has, surprisingly, done very well in this economy.

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Two guys stopped at a restaurant for coffee. "I'll have a mug of strong coffee," said the first. The second said, " I'll have strong coffee too, but I want a clean mug." The waiter returns and says, "which one of you wants the clean mug?"

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Biggest lie in America: Sorry, that was my last stick of gum.

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What is white and weighs twice as much as Shamoo? My ass.

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I was trying to think of a joke to write, but then I became unsatisfied with my creativity and began to spiral into a depressing tangent of thoughts. I just took 37 Ambien, and have approximately ten minutes to live. Instead, I will spend my last moments writing goodbye messages to friends on Facebook and longingly looking at images of the past. Goodbye, world.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? There must have been something that peaked her interest.

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A cat starts grooming itself How many sprinkles does it take to cover the moon Cabinet because whales live in water

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Face...tastes like chicken!

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Q: What did the dog say to the owner when he took him to the vet? A: Nothing. It's a dog. It can't talk.

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Knock Knock Who's There Lettuce Lettuce who? Lettuce down the street building his new garage

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A black man walks into a KFC, he then realizes that he is in the wrong store, and walks out.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops