Your momma's so fat: She regrets not making the most of her youth whilst she was still attractive.

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A man walks into a bar He drinks the night away with his friends *Plot Twist* It was a dream He has no friends.

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what's gray, red, and goes over a 100 mph? a toad in a blender

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Knock knock (who's there) Orange ( orange who) orange you glad to see

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How does an elephant climb a cliff who cares

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what do you call someone who cant breathe? dead

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why was six afraid of seven? it's a long story, and six doesn't want to talk about it.

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Q: What did the Goth-Punk girl write on her test for the question "What are three kinds of rock?" A: Igneous, Sedimentary, & Metamorphic, She is a 4.0 Geology Major attending a respectable University. She simply chooses to express herself through the musical and clothing trends that emerged in 1970's English underground music. In reality it her personal preferences in the aforementioned areas have no bearing on her intellectual or academic standing.

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Q) What did the Irishman get for his birthday? A) Drunk

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He did it for fitness.

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A man is on his way home from a business trip and walks into his house. He is quite as to not wake up his wife or kids. He gets to the bedroom to find his wife in bed with the neighbor. He is shocked at what he came home to and decides to file for divorce. She was a stay at home mom and loses everything because of the divorce. The man woke up from his horrible nightmare and kissed his wife on the cheek. She has always been faithful. He decides to tell her about the dream and, for insurance, emphasizes the part where she loses everything in the divorce. They happily live out the rest of their lives together.

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An IRS agent named Harold Crick finds that he has the ability to hear a narrator comment on every moment of his life. He later becomes institutionalized in the Schizophrenic ward.

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What do u call a man who sells hot dogs on the street? A Mexican

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Malcolm Johnson from Zenith windows, I was wondering if I could speak to you for a while about some fantastic offers which we currently have on double glazed windows....

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What do you say to a dead man who knocks on your door? Nothing, you shoot him cause he's a zombie

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Santa isn't real

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Whats the difference in car and a bicycle? One has an engine and drivetrain designed to run on gas and the other is powered by your output of work

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If you pull a pin out of a grenade, is it possible to put it back? I need a quick answer for this question.

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Why is it OK to make fun of a deaf person? Because they can't hear.

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if a sentence contains the words "Chuck Norris" it still has to end up with a period otherwise it is bad grammar and is looked down upon by American society.

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So the priest took the 6 year old boy into the confessional...and He told him to say 3 Hail Mary's.

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Your mom is so fat that her doctor told her to go on a diet.

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What do you call a black priest? "Father" if you are Christian.

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What used to be red, but isn't anymore? A scalped ginger.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops