This guy dies and his wife gets him cremated. She takes the ashes home and lays them out on the table and starts talking to them. "You know that fur coat you promised me? I bought it with the insurance money. You know the new car you promised me? I bought it with the insurance money." Then she whispers, "You know that blow job I promised you? Well, here it comes..."

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Reminding you of your religion. The army led by God attacked their foes at the mountains, yet had to flee because the enemy had plated steel wagons. Moral: Either God cant beat steel, or he was not there at all, its your call gents, because reading Ave Maria 50 times each time you sin, without reading the whole thing, does not even make you a Christian you FUCK (yes I can curse, you cannot)

thumb_up thumb_down -19

what taste like an apple, looks like an apple, but isnt an apple? an apple.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why did the male propagate the female? Because he was drugged. Slyly, this foxy female had slipped the male the date rape drug and a dangerous amount of viagra. During intercourse, the male ripped a gaping hole in the female's stomach and killed her. He woke up confused inside a dead stinking corpse.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

how do u make a plummer cry? Kill his children.... :)

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What do you call sad communities that have to share resources? Communists.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Knock knock! Who's there? Dave. Dave who? Dave Smith. Oh, hey Dave. Come in.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

what's worse then death? finding that your adopted, no one loves you and you mother raped you at the tender age of five.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What do you get when you cross a pumpkin with a kangaroo? An irrelevant punchline.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why couldn't the chicken cross the road? it has no legs.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

My friend was driving me home from a party, and was quite drunk. I was relieved that we did not get into a car crash.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What did the one Lame say to the other Lame? I don't know, what did you say?

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why cant African children read? While there are many contributing factors the largest would probably be the lack of a standardized education system mainly due to the logistical factors involved in reaching so many wide spread communities. Also the current economic climate and general disregard for civilians by the governments in these area would suggest that the states' focus would be on other issues besides the welfare of their citizens, this is probably similar to other countries in similar situations such as middle eastern, eastern european, and latin and south america. Then again, not really being educated on this issue in almost any way, has probably contributed to a broad generalization, and so the premise of this joke is most likely flawed in any case.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Q:What is usually pink, brown or black, usually big and comes out smaller, which goes in and out of your mothers mouth? A: Could be lots of things really... Moral: But we all know what you imagined you sick bastard!

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What did the duck say to the other duck? Something, But us humans don't speak there language to understand

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What ever happened to Sally? We don't know she went missing over 5 years ago.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Kyle grund parker coffey

thumb_up thumb_down -19

How did Helen Keller's parents punish her? They scolded her and sent her to her room.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What do you call a woman who is addicted to crack, has a light mustache and huge saggy tits, has had 4 kids with 4 different fathers and makes her living giving hand-jobs behind the bus station? Mom.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

A boy's parents buy him a Wii for Christmas. The boy hangs himself the next day because you need arms to play Wii.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why did the Mexican steal a pack of tortillas? To feed his family. He didn't have the necessary funds to pay for it.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What's worse than being hit with a falling brick? Being hit with many falling bricks. -ilikecrepes97

thumb_up thumb_down -19

why did the chicken cross the road? to get to your house. knock knock..... who's there? the chicken

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Roses are red Violets are blue Trash gets dumped Just like you

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops