How long does it take you to count to 5? 5 seconds.

Rick Ross is so fat, that he is fatter than someone who isn't as fat as he is.

A thought for the day: Life is like a game of chess. In the constant struggle for power, control and safe positions it makes no difference whether one plays white or black. As long as everything is planned and one stays a few moves ahead, everything will work out. Just don't annoy the queen, or she may send some very irate knights to fork you or a bishop to flank you. [L]

Did you know Helen Keller had a playground in her backyard? Neither did she

A man shouts a women crossing the road "Oi, get your rat out love!" So she did, and it savaged his face.

Why is life so hard? Because god isn't real

What's bad about four black men in a car going over a cliff? It was my car.

what did the man say to the other man he bumped into? sorry. and they never saw eachother again

Why is it a bad idea to stand in a thunder and lightning storm with a metal rod? Because you will get wet from the rain.

A man told his daughter not to give his dog coffee. His daughter turned and told him that she was his nurse and his alzheimers is getting worse.

Why couldnt the girl braid her hair? She had cancer

Why was the boy crying? Because him and his sister were sent to an orphanage.

What's Brown and Sticky? A Stick

What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot, you racist.

When life gives you cancer, make cancer-aids.

What's brown,green got four legs and can fall out of a tree and kill you? A snooker table.

- What would you say if you'll see a Mexican eating hamburger in fast-food restaurant? - Enjoy your meal.

reggin... its N I GG E R backwards

What's worse than finding a holocaust in your apple? A worm.

why did John fall off his bike I don't know I was not there it was a rumor at school

what did the homeless kid get for christmas? nothing he probably doesn't know what christmas is

Why doesn't Harry have any arms? Because he's a Jew.

What did Petunia say to the other Petunia Hi there Petunia

Q: What do you call a dog with no legs? A: A sad, unfortunate dog.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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