whats worse than the holacost? your mom giving you cubes in your drink when you requested crushed instead

What do you get when you come across a duck and a moose? Nothing...What do you think you deserve a prize or something?

Q: how do you make a clean naz dance? A: put a lil boogy in it? NOOO SUCK IT!!!

YOU-why did the airplane crash? (person): why? YOU-Because jimmy was flying it. (person): Who is jimmy? YOU- a fish.

Is your daddy a thief? Because he stole my wallet.

What's the difference between you and a bucket full of shit? The bucket...

why did the little girl drown? because she was left unsupervized and had never properly learned to swim. she also had no arms and cancer.

Whats funnier than 1 dead baby? 2 Dead babies

life is a barrel of tomatoes...unless you paint them blue.

who are the worlds fastest readers? the people who jumped on 911 cause they read 48 stories in 10 seconds

a duck wanted grapes. he didnt get any

Roses are red Violets are blue Sugar is sweet And this poem sucks

How did the fat man survive the plane crash? He didn't, he died like everyone else!

I dig, you dig, we dig, they dig, he digs, she digs, everybody digs. Guys, it's not a very profound poem, but it's deep.

How many electricians does it take to change a light bulb? 1

Why did the dyslexic chicken cross the toad? Because the toad mocked his dyslexia, and the chicken does not tolerate rude bastard toads.

What did the girl get for her birthday? the Plan B pill

why couldn't the girl watch t.v? Because her house burned down

Roses are red Violets are blue Tulips are pink Daisys are white

'Knock Knock' "Who's there?" 'Nobody. Your schizophrenia has become so bad you can barely make it through a normal day without emotionally collapsing. Your social life has dissolved into a world of fear, and your personal relationships have crumbled away before your eyes. Major depression and anxiety are eating you away. You have nothing left.'

What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car? He said "Get in the car".

Whats the difference between a squirrel and a grape? They're both squirrels but ones a grap...

Q: Why Marc can't run? A: Marc is a leaf.

Why didn't Jimmy go to school? Because Jimmy is a brick wall.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...