Where are you going Your house

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How do you make a kid with ADHD stay still? Shoot him in the knee cap

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What do you call someone who kills a black person? A cop

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What did Goldilocks say to the Three Bears? No one knows. Her remains were discovered three weeks later.

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How many beavers does it take to paint a house blue? 0, beavers cant paint.

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So I was walking down the street the other day, I went to the shop.

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what did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? were both lawyer's.

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Why did the idiot take a selfie with his phone underwater? Because he's an idiot

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What's worse than finding a snake in your apple? Finding a snake in your apple

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Your mamma so jobless, that she needs a job! ~T.J.C.S.

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How many gays does it take to change a light bulb? 1, even if hes not happy im sure he would still be able to change it.

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Knock knock? Who's there? Llama. Llama who? Llamas aren't racist unlike that bastard Ann Coulter. That's why they can get a carrot up the ass and she can't.

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A polar bear walks into a bar, sits down, and says, "Can I have a.........................beer?" The bartender asks, "Why the large pause?" The bear responds, "I have a speech impediment"

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What's the difference between Stephani and a momma hippo? The mother hippo is slowly but surely losing weight while Stephani is packing on the pounds! :)

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A blonde was told to go to the into the nearby swimming pool and sniff the Scratch-and-Sniff sticker on the bottom. Once at the bottom, she quickly realized that it was not a good idea and swam back to the surface.

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Why did Michael Phelps drown? He didn't because he is the best swimmer in olympic history.

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A teacher, a consturction worker, and an army general are on an airplane. The pilot tells them the plane has too much weight, and if they don't each drop one item then the plane will crash. Realizing one item each is obviously not enough weight to throw off, the teacher and the construction worker team up and throw the army genral off the plane. They land safely, and live the rest of their life haunted by their vile actions.

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Whats worse than a baby stapled to a tree? A tree stapled to a baby

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I'm gay Mr Goodwin

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If a tree falls in the woods, how many animals lost their home to deforestation?

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When life gives you lemons, you are most likely in the fruit section of the grocery store.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Probably because this chicken had a mental disability and saw on the news that there was a hospital on the other side of the road that could treat his illness and possibly save his life, allowing him to fulfill his life-long dream of retirement. But knowing that chickens do not possess the brain power capable of understanding the situation that this chicken was in, it had probably gotten lost and just wandered off.

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What did the doctor tell his patient? Unfortunately you have cancer.

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Q. What do mummies do when they run out of toilet paper? A. Nothing - they're dead and inanimate.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops