Brian knew how to save the world from the death penalty: "Let's kill everybody who is not against it." So I killed Brian and waste my time in death row now.

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I see said the blind man, to his deaf wife, as the cripple ran by.

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whats funnier then a children's hospital..... it catching on fire.

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Want to hear a dirty joke? A pig fell in the mud…

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Interrupting Pessimist. Interrupting Pessi- Slavery.

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JOSH BROWN STOP ADDING PEOPLES NAMES TO THE END OF YOUR TRUE STORIES!

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Roses are red Violets are blue Cats meow Dogs have four legs

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Your friend says "Hi" What do you say back? You say "chunky salsa?" She said "what?" You think she knows you made out with her boyfriend last night. So... You blurt out " I'm SO sorry I made out with your boyfriend lastnight" Know.... Your dead meat.

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A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us." The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute." The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us." The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look." The family performs an array of disgusting sexual acts. For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?" And the father says, "It has no name."

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A man didn't feel well so he went to the toilet. He had explosive diahrria, then felt better.

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Q: What sound does a baby make when you put it in a blender? A: I don't know; I was too busy trying to find my camera.

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Q: What's blue and fuzzy? A: Blue fuzz

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mikey is cute

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How do you make a black person mad? Set his house on fire.

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What does a vegetarian eat? colored penis

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Why did the man stop dead in his tracks? He was on top of a land mine.

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What do call a spoon that doesn't work? Broken.

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A plumber walks into a bar and the bartender says "What will it be?" and the plumber says "no drinks thank you, I'm here to fix the toilet."

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a toothpick

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Why did the koala fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the tree fall over? The koala forgot to let go.

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Bill had two options the red truck or the blue sedan. Your mother is a whore.

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What is a dyslexic mathematician's favourite song? Angels. [L]

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What's worse than getting raped by a black guy? Getting raped by a radioactive black guy

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree He was dead Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree It was staples to the first monkey Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree Peer pressure

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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