Riddle me this, riddle me that. I'll eat your f^cking cat.

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What's the hardest part about blending a baby? My dick

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An slutty attractive secretary went into her boss' office He killed her.

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Why did the guy hate the man that said,"I respect you?'' Because the man was Hitler.

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I can't make my mind about the debate on legalisation of marijuana. Some days I think it's a good thing. Somes days I think it's a bad thing. And some days, I don't think about it at all and I just think it's a very nice day.

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why did matt daly want to go to prison? to be fondled

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A man is pulled over because he is suspected of drunk driving. The officer comes to the window and is greeted by a man who then replies: What seems to be the officer, problem?

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There was a man who entered a local paper's pun contest. He sent in ten different puns hoping at least one of the puns would win but, unfortunately, no pun in ten did.

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When life gives you lemons, you must also have a proportionally sufficient amount of both water and sugar in order to make lemonade.

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Where did tommy go during the bomb? Everywhere. he was a cripple and couldnt make it to the bomb shelter.

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Why did the boy bring a ladder to school? Perhaps he was doing a project on tree-life.

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A man walks into the doctor's office and says "Doc my leg really hurts when I poke it like this." The doctor replies, "Yes, that is a knife."

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A 65 year old man is tired with his life. He begins to realize that it is meaningless to him. He wants no part in the world anymore so he decided to commit suicide. On his way to commit suicide, he comes across a magical man that has an extraordinary offer. This magical man has offered to grant the 65 year old man the power to fly. The 65 year old man, accepts the offer in great interest, but the magical man wants something in return for his deed. The 65 year old man, offers all the money in his wallet to the magical man. The magical man accepts his offer of all the money and continues. With a flick of the wrist, the magical man says, "fly, fly, high as the sky, i grant this man the ability to fly". The 65 year old man is greatly excited now that he has the ability to fly. He cant wait to try out his new power. He runs to the nearest cliff and jumps. Too bad the "magical man" was really a male prostitute that was broke and homeless. The 65 year old man died on impact and the male prostitue walked away with a wallet full of cash.

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Did you know that Helen Keller had a swing set? neither did she.

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A: Roses are red, Violets are blue. B: Then why are they called violets? A: I NEVER NOTICED THAT!

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because numbers, like people, are afraid of all things bigger than themselves

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Chuck noris is so awesome that he brings a knife to a gun-fight, and wins

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Roses are red, violets are blue, if you had a pulmonary embolism, you would be too

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Eeny meeny miny moe, Catch a piglet by its toe, If it squeals let it go, Or you'll be arrested for animal abuse and receive a heavy fine.

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If a man shouts in a forest and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong? He could be, he could not be. It really depends on what he says. The greater concern is that he's shouting alone in the forest. Either he's in trouble or he has a major psychology disorder.

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how many cody's does it take to screw in a lightbulb? impossible he so stupid!!!

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What did Helen Keller say when she fell off a cliff? That never happened. I just checked Wikipedia.

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Knock knock Who's there? Mike Mike who? Mike Davis from across the street. Come in.

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CHORGLUND

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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