Jake: Where's Waldo Me: Where? Jake: I don't know

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Why did the man cross the road? Because the light was red!

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in a pool? Phil, because that's his name.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What did the sailor say to the shore? Ur a beach!

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What do you call a horse with bread on its ears? Boris, because that's his name.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

How do you make an emo kid cry? He already is.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What is worse than getting shot in the leg? Getting shot in the head.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

one time, there was this anti-joke.com joke set-up. It was just like a normal joke set-up. was the anti-joke punchline effective, artful of funny at all? no. it was a plain statement of some facts without consideration for humor. it gets old after you read like 50 of them. it gets REALLY. F*CKIN. OLD.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Why'd the guy fall off the building? I pushed him

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Your mother is so dumb, that she had a very poor ACT composite score.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What did the poor family eat for thanksgiving? Food

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Why didn't the scientist discover a cure for apathy? He simply lost interest in it.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Beans, beans, the magical fruit. The more you eat, the more you have consumed.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Why'd the monkey fall out of the tree? Cus he was dead. Why'd the other monkey fall out of the tree? Cus he was stapled to the dead monkey!

thumb_up thumb_down +21

There was an old lady from Ealing Who had a peculiar feeling She lay on her back Opened her crack And pissed all over the ceiling The old lady then lay in her own waste for over two weeks due to neglect by uncaring nursing home staff. Six months later, a hidden camera documentary on underperforming care homes exposed the abuse and neglect and the old lady went to live with her son and his family. In the early hours of May 14th 2011, the whole family were killed in a house fire that gutted the home and saw fires spread to neighbouring houses. Firefighters say the blaze originated in the spare room and was caused by exposed wiring on an electrical blanket. Forensic experts said that the repeated urination on the blanket would likely corrode the wiring due to the acidic content of urine.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What did the kid with no arms and no legs get for his birthday? A basketball.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

A man walks into a bar a browning automatic rifle, it accidentally fires hitting the main artery in his neck and he promptly bleeds to death.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What did the boy call the man that kicked the cat? "Sad twat"

thumb_up thumb_down +21

How do you rescue a fat girl that's stuck under a car? With a pickaxe and a donkey.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Q. Why did Obama cross the road? A. To collect taxes from the houses on the other side

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Roses are Red Violets are Blue I can't wait to shove my finge in you

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Why did sally fall off the swing? She had no hands. Knock. Knock. Who's there? Not sally.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was hit by a fridge. Why did Sally fall off her bike? She was hit by a falling monkey and fridge.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Why couldn't little Tiffany play kickball with the rest of the kids during recess? Tiffany is a pencil.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops