Did you hear the one about the pizza and the salamander? Neither did I.

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I'm so punny.

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What's worse than getting punched in the balls? Many things inflict more pain than that

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ROSE ARE BROWN VIOLETS ARE BROWN WHO SH*IT IN MY GARDEN!!!!!

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what happens when Pinocchio says "My nose is growing"?

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Jet fuel doesn't melt steel beams,heat does.

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Sir, your wife is dead

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what do you call a door made of steel? a steel door

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock? Whos there? Not Sally...

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Q:What did the midget say to the toll booth operator? A: Is your family dead too?

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What looks like poo but is rainbow colored? Rainbow colored poo.

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why do ducks have webbed feet? to stomp out fires. why do elephants have flat feet? to stomp out the burining ducks.

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What has four wheels and flies? A pile of poop that's on four wheels.

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How do you keep black people out of your backyard. A no trespassing sign.

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Why was the black man holding the knife in such a particular manner? Because he was getting dinner ready for his family.

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Why isnt there a womens NASCAR? Because NASCAR does not yet have the funding to start a women's league.

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Whet doesn't kill you, probably will next time.

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Three Arabian men are on a plane, they stand up, and shout BOMB, BOMB, BOMB! All three have Tourettes.

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A blonde walked into a bank. She deposited her check, thanked the teller, and promptly left.

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What did the Insomniac, Dyslexic Priest do? He stayed up all night wondering if there really is a Dog.

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Hey babe, are you a refrigerator? -No... Good--'cause I wanna f*ck you so hard. Best pickup line. Always works.

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There was a blonde driving a car but she was late to a meeting so she started speeding but then a police officer pulls her over. The officer asked the blonde "Do you know how fast you were going?" to which the blonde responded "Yes, I am late to a meeting" so the police gives a ticket for speeding and she ends up going late to her meeting.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I like your mom Give me some glue

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Why didn't Susan go to school on show-and-tell day? Because she's dead.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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