Q. What goes "ninety-nine CLUMP, ninety-nine CLUMP, ninety-nine CLUMP"? A. Nothing does.

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Yo momma so fat she saw a yellow bus full of white kids and said, "STOP THAT TWINKIE!!"

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Two cows are standing in a field. One says to the other, 'Have you heard about this mad cow disease?' and the other says 'Good thing we're penguins.'

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Why couldn't Jimmy wash his hair? He has leukemia and therefore no longer has hair.

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What did the little girl say after her dad hit her? Nothing. She was a month old and died instantly.

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What happens when an Asian with a boner walks into a wall? He breaks his nose

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Jesse gets back at people who takes his job, by trying to get with their sloppy seconds.. Emphasize trying.

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If I could slow down time I would have become a super criminal or something, no, my movements become slower also, ever heard of a game Max Payne? The character can slow down his perception of time and still aim his gun normally while he himself moving at the same speed as the rest. I well... when time seems to go slower, my thoughts do not, so yeaaah, Except my fast reactions also make me wear myself out faster to the point where I got injured a lot as a kid, like smacking my wrist against arcade games and stuff, broke my wrist, as a teen, still hurts when it rains, yeah weird but true.

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Your mom is so dumb that all of society says she was poorly educated.

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Q: How do you make a plumber sad? A: Kill his family

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How much weight can an ant carry up a mole hill? Ice cream has no bones.

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Obama stumbles upon a KKK meeting. All the klansmen shake his hand and respect him because he is the President.

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Why didn't the man answer the Anti Joke? He had a severe mental disorder and was therefore incapable of speech.

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A man had two horses. One was black and one was white. He cut the tail of one of them to tell them apart.

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what did one wall say to the other wall Nothing because its physically impossible for walls to talk

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Q: How do you make Helen Keller cry? A: Casually remind her that she is both blind and deaf.

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Why did the blonde ask her doctor if she could get a new butt? She is insecure about its appearance and believes reconstructive anus surgery is the only solution.

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If chuck Norris is so awesome how come he's not at my house slamming my face into the keybodhdtegdudgegdtdjaowpqhwvsmx vxbdnsksksh

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A man dressed as a woman gets hit in the nuts they fall to the ground in pain

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Solvemedia fun: It says happy trails, a good one. Then it says Your answer below. ANSWER TO WHAT? To happy trails? Is that even a question? Is this world gonna explode? Is Santa real? Will Jesus ever return? I This and much more in the next exciting episode of Dragon NutZ SEE!

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So a moose walks into a grocery store and asks the clerk, who is a penguin, "Where's the bread?" And the penguin says "On isle three!" But, when the moose gets to isle three... The bread isn't there!

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Whats worse than getting shot in the foot? Watching each member of your family get shot in the foot.

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what did the tree say when it fell down? Nothing it is humanly impossible for a tree to talk. Especially after it fell down. I mean that would hurt.

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A jew walks into a bar. The bartender says we dont sell juice here. The jew promptly leaves, offended.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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