whats fat, green and hairy? Nothing I would pleasure myself to.

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A jumper cable walks into a bar. The bartender says, "I'll serve You, but don't start anything."

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What's five miles long and has an IQ of 40? A democrat parade.

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Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get shrgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting stabbed.

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What is long, hard, and full of seamen A submarine you pervert

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A duck walks up to a lemonade stand and says to the man running the stand. QUACK!!!

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what is another way to say tree? A big stick with leaves

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What rhymes with turtle? RAPE

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How come dinosaurs don't talk? Because they're dead.

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NO ONE LIKES YOU!!!!

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what's funnier than a dead baby? a lot of less tragic things

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What's black and white and eats like horse? A zebra.

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What's the only animal that has to be oiled? any animal I can think of

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A duct walks into a bar. The writer meant to write duck and then proceed to make a clever joke but instead a typo was made and a very unlikely occurence was writtern about considering air passages are not capable of walking and would most likely already be in the ceiling of the bar as too bring fresh air into the bar is important.

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Dyslexia ruels!

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I am Jack Bauer, Where is the nuke?

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Q:How do u kill a butcher A: Kill its family

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here kitty kitty

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A man with Azheim - Eh, I forgot what it was called.

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Hillo, its Spodermen, teiling u i fuked ur bich.

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What did one dead baby say to the other dead baby? Nothing, they are both dead.

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Whats on my leg? A pimple. What is it doing? Releasing a white/clear puss.

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Yo mama so fat.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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