A man walks into a bar and pulls out a tiny piano and a 12 inch pianist, which is really just his member with a smiley face drawn on it. Somebody calls the police muttering, "What is this world coming to?"

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Why did the giant try to eat the magical rainbow? A: Because the apocalypse is predicted for the Wednesday after santa gets shot by the evil jolly ice cream man which in secret is cheating on his wife who in turn eats every human baby ever known to man. duhhhhh

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how does your hair keep changing lengths? due to my countless hours of grueling sessions in chemotherapy due to what was recently found as a terminal cancer, i wear wigs

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Duke Nukem censored line: What are you waiting for? the celebration of the day you crucified Jesus and ate his flesh and blamed it upon the anti christ because of... Victory? Because you know Jesus gave his life in order to prove that he was immortal and died for your sins because his life is eternal... Satan your Moral Man: Nah, lets just go with "what are you waiting for, christmas?" Now go celebrate you murdering your savior which said "ill be back" on the cross and returned three days later at his second coming? Seriously? I thought only Jesus: The guy that was totally an ARAB (deny it and be consumed in the flames of hell, not my problem), and Jesus: strikes back came out, where can I get Jesus: The third coming? Factoid: Yeah Jesus was totally a blonde haired white man which went clothed in the finest ARYAN silks, in addition he only drove in his MUSTANG 9001 and smoked Lucky Strike... Which did nothing for his luck...

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Q: What did Peter say after a long day of work when he got home? A: Nothing, in fact he has job, home, family, or anyone to help him. His leg is pinned down by a large piece of metal that fell on him while looking for food to eat at a construction site, expect him to die of bleeding in the next 24 hours.

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Richard Nixon walks into a bar. Everyone is thrilled to meet a former President of the United States who returned from the grave.

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Why did Suzy fall of the swing? Cuz she had no arms! B I T C H

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What's funnier than diarrhoea? Cancer What's funnier than cancer? The holocaust

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A man walked into a bar. It was closed, so I don't see how this was possible.

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Your momma is so dumb... that when she took an IQ test she score pretty low on it.

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2 guys walk into a bar the first gys says id like a beer the second guy says me to

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How do you throw a party in space? You planet!

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What is Hellen Keller's favorite movie? Around the block in 80 days.

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Holy mother moley! Britain just brexited! Now there's no more Britain. Britain is all gone.

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How do u kill a horse? U stab it with a huge butcher knife

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A black man provides has a normal day job and provides for his family while staying faithful to his wife.

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So there were three guys on a plane. they all died.

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blonde: your cute Gangster: wanna go back to my crib blonde: you mean you can go back in time?

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If anyone has a KIK, put it in the comments.

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what did the penis say to the vagina? SMACK SMACK SMACK

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?"i'm so turned on right now." - horny light bulb

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why did the woman get electricuted? because there was an electric fence around the kitchen.

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Why did the shark eat the girl? Because she was ugly

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Ding dong Who's there Electricity

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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