The GOV and the WHO?

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Knock, knock. Who's There? The Fire Department...

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Why can't Michael J. Fox draw a perfect circle? Because no one can draw a perfect circle.

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What did the Polack do in the rainstorm? He got wet.

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Roses are red Violets are blue If you need a poo.... ...hold it in.

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What do you call a bug stepped on 47 times, then burned to a crisp? Dead

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Guess what my dad got me for my birthday? NOTHING, he left my mom and I when I was a baby.

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A: What are the nine most terrifying words in the English dictionary? B: What are they? A: I'm from the government and i'm here to help

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Two black males walk into the bar due to circumstances they had to go home early one of them has to leave early to tend to his ill wife, and the other enjoys his night drinking and making small talk with new friends

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How many Polacks does it take to screw in a light-bulb? One. A person's ethnicity or country of origin, or religion for that matter, would have no bearing on one's ability to perform the relatively simple task of installing a light-bulb. Furthermore, there is no reason to use the negative slur 'polack' when referring to a person of Polish descent.

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Wanna know what's funny? A joke.

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Doctor: I'm sorry about your disease, young man. It looks like your time is up. Man: NO! How much time to I have? Doctor: Five. Man: Five years? Five months? Five weeks? Doctor: Four... Three...

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Whats blue and flufft Answer: Blue Fluff

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Why can't monkeys and kuala bears get along? Because they are two entirely different species that cannot communicate with each other...

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A horse walks into a bar, the bartender asks "why the long face?" The horse replies, "my wife has cancer."

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A 10 year old underpriveledged boy goes to the second mile camp and meets his new counselor: Penn State defensive coordinator Jerry Sandusky. The two bond very much and talk a lot. Sandusky invites the boy back to the locker room to shower because the boy got muddy. The boy takes a shower, gets clean, and goes back to his cabin. The boy has a great time at the camp and goes home.

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There is no "I" in "TEAM" However, there is a "T" an "E" an "A" and an "M"

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Knock knock. After 1 and a half minutes of waiting, Phil assumes his friend is not home, and promptly leaves.

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Why'd Mary fall off her bike? Because she was hit by a bus. Knock knock? Who's there? Not Mary... O.o

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why are anti jokes so funny? cuz u pobably just laughed at this one.

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why did the chair brake? because a car smashed into it. where did it go? all the way to china. whats 3+4? why did the Chinese man get this wrong? Because a chair was in his head.

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How do you get a clown off a swing? Get a giant scorpion to rape him.

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Have you heard of the mute man that kept telling people he could not talk? Its funny because its true.

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What makes George Michael gay? The fact he engages in sexual intercourse with other men.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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