Why is it a shame if a kid gets run over by a car? I like the newspaper headlines about stabbings better.

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never gonna give you up, never gonna let you down

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A woman gets home from bying tampons to use later in the month. She walks into the house and sees a heart box with a note from her husband of 5 years. The note reads: Roses are red - violets are blue - Fudge Is Sweet - Heres some Fudge...........She then puts the note down, eats the fudge, and has diarrhea a few hours later. The husband comes home and feels bad because he forgot that fudge upsets his wife's stomach. Later that night the wife asks her husband to have anal sex with her. The husband agrees but later regrets his action since his dick is now discolored and smells of shit..........Two days later the family dog dies. The wife and husband mourn. I like cheese

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yo mama's so fat because when women are pregnet thay gain weight for there child to feed on

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A man walks into a bar, and sees another man with a huge orange head. He asks the bartender, "Do you know why that man has such a huge orange head?" The bartender replies: I dont know, maybe if you buy him a drink he'll tell you. So that man walks over to the man with a huge orange head and buys him a drink. He says to him: Excuse me, sir but why do you have a big orange head? The man with the big orange head replies: Well, one day I was walking along the beach and I found an interesting bottle. So I opened it and out popped a genie. He told me I had three wishes. The first thing I asked for was to have all the money that I wanted, and the means to get more. Suddenly, My pockets were overflowing with cash. So then I wished for the most beautiful, perfect woman ever created and there she appeared in front of me, and we immediately fell in love. The third thing I asked for was a huge orange head.

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What's the hardest part of eating a vegetable? Putting her back in the wheelchair

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What's white and can't climb a tree? A fridge

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How was a blonde woman able to get into Harvard? She was smart and had a very good SAT score.

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

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What did the math teacher get after he ate and he ate? A full stomach.

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Whats grey and kills people, Terminal cancer,I lied about the grey color

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I have to go to the bathroom

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What's dark, has an opening, and guys like to go in it. A cave

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how many blondes does it take to screw in a lightbulb? one

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Did you know Helen Keller had a swing set in her backyard? Neither did she.

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How do you tick off a Doctor? You cut off his right thumb.

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the boy fell, because he hit a bump.

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what do you get when you cross a daniel lesiak with nothing?

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A black man walks into a convienent store, pays for his stuff and leaves

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What do you call a man with ADHD ? A man with ADHD.

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try this on someone: Knock Knock Who's there? Knock Knock Who's There? Knock Knock They will keep asking who's there while you laugh

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What did Helen Keller name her dog? Max

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Why did Michael Jackson get so many nose jobs? He was incredibly insecure.

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Whats worse than a bee sting? Two bee stings. Whats worse then two bee stings? The holocaust. Whats worse then the holocaust? Three bee stings.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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