How did Debbie get a black eye? Because her dad asked her to take off her pants and she refused so he beat her

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Q: What is brown and sticky and often found in the grass? A: A stick.

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What is better than one trillion dollars? One trillion and one dollars... duh.

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Why does Tim Teblow love men? Logan Cole told him to.

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What did the Dildo say to the banana? Nothing, unless you're high on acid.

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- Knock, knock - Who's there? - Police - I'm not home!

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what do u call something black and hanging from a tree.............................. a black guy

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Why couldn't the T-Rex clap his hands? Because he's dead.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Banana. Impossible, fruits to not have the ability to talk.

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Why did little Timmy fall down? Because he was shot in the head.

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what did the aboriginal kid get for christmas? your bike.

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YOU'VE WON A FREE IPAD!!!!! PRESS CTRL+W TO CLAIM YOUR PRIZE!

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what's worse, ten babies stapled to a tree or one baby stapled to ten trees?

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(Pretend you're an orphan.) Knock knock. Who's there? Not your parents.

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What do you get for the man that has everything already? Another one.

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Why can't Emily swing because she has no arms Knock Knock Who's there Not Emily

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How do you find your way out of the impossible maze? You don't.

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Your mama's so fat, that it's ruined her self-esteem.

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How many women does it take to changed a light bulb? 12. 11 to form a committee and 1 to make her boyfriend do it.

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what would abraham lincoln do if he were alive today? scream and try to open his coffin.

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I had vodka + water and got drunk. had rum + water and got drunk. had gin and water and still got drunk. I've learnt my lesson. NO MORE WATER FOR ME

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A woman was shopping at her local supermarket where she selected: a half-gallon of 2% milk, a carton of eggs, a quart of orange juice, a head of romaine lettuce, a 2 lb. can of coffee and a 1 lb. package of bacon. As she was unloading her items on the conveyor belt to check out, a drunk standing behind her watched as she placed the items in front of the cashier. While the cashier was ringing up her purchases, the drunk calmly stated, “You must be single.” The woman was a bit startled by this proclamation, but she was intrigued by the derelict’s intuition, since she was indeed single. She looked at her six items on the belt and saw nothing particularly unusual about her selections that could have tipped off the drunk to her marital status. Curiosity getting the better of her, she said “Well, you know what, you’re absolutely correct. But how on earth did you know that?” The drunk replied, “Cause you’re ugly.”

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dickdickvdickdickdickdickdickdickdickdickdickdickdickdickdickdickdickdickdick

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-Knock Knock? -Who's There? -David Baxter. -David Baxter Who? -Wha- What? What do you mean "David Baxter who?" We were best friends in high school. YOU WERE THE BEST MAN AT MY WEDDING!! *David Baxter proceeds to cry, as he doesn't know of his dear friend's Alzheimer's disease*

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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