A Jew walks into an expensive Hotel and orders 500 dollars worth of wine.

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What's eighteen inches long, stiff, and makes women scream at night? A twelve inch long penis that is erect, thus adding approximately one half of its flaccid size, and involved in the act of fornication with the female partner of the man whose penis I am describing. (Of course, it is ignorant and juvenile to assume that the man in question is heterosexual. He may be a homosexual, which is perfectly acceptable in these liberal times we live in, or he may in fact be single and not inclined towards a sexual preference of any kind. This is understandable due to the myriad complications of long-term relationships, a result of the infinite differences between the masculine and feminine psyches.)

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Orange you glad I didn't say banana?

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Jack just got his new yellow bicycle. His dad got it for his 12th anniversary. Jack was ecstatic to ride it down his street for the first time. He immediately called his friends Paul and Erick and went for his first ride. The neighbors were in AWE when they saw Jack taking off on his new ride. That day the three friends had one of the best day of their young lives, they went up to the lake, had some peanut ice cream and made fun of Alexia. Jack was in love with his new bike and euphoric that they were reunited and did all their favorite things with an incredible amount of passion. Erick hated his new bike.

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Q. Why are most jews unemployed? A. They all got fired.

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Two trains, on the same track, left different stations, and travelled in opposite directions. 74 people died.

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What would the funeral home do without a dead person? Wait until the next appiontment

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Q: What Did Batman Say To Robin Before He Got In The Car? A: Get In The Car

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What did the black guy say to the Jewish guy when it began to rain? It's raining.

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A man walks to a bar and sees a very hot blonde sitting across the room. Turns out it was actually a blonde man and they both had a wonderful night because they were both homosexual.

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Whats the difference of a pile of dead babys and a lambrogini? One of them is not inside of my garage.

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how do you confuse a brunette? paint yourself red and throw a fridge at her

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do you listen to dubstep? OH YEA I LOVE SKRILLEX -_-

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Roses are Red Violets are blue I have short term memory loss Hey look thats my bike over there.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm allergic to both Now I'm dead

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How do you kill a blonde? Tell her she can breath underwater.

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Why didnt the cannibal like the taste of the comedian? because the comedian smelled very bad and the cannibal forgot to add salt.

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Why did the bartender refuse to let the black man in ? Because the bar was about to close.

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what does the monster eat after going to the dentist? the dentist

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What did the Hungarian say before he went to bed? "I'm going to bed," but he said it in Hungarian.

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What did the wall say to the other wall? Nothing. Walls don't talk.

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An alligator was found wearing a vest. The investigator had no comment... As alligators are incapable of speech. ^^^

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Why was the man wearing all white? He was a part of the Ku Klux Kan.

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i got 99 problems.... and aids is one

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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