Knock, Knock. Who's there? Milkman. Milkman who? I've been coming here for 14 years and you don't even know my name? I helped take your mother to the hospital for crying out loud! I held you in my arms as a baby! And you don't even have the decency to remember MY NAME?! I'm sorry I don't live in a house that allows milk and other groceries to be delivered, I'm sorry that I wasn't born into a nice family with a nice home! I'm sorry that I have had to come here EVERY WEEK FOR FOURTEEN YEARS and you can't even remember my NAME! My name! I left my family for christmas one year to go pick up that elmo doll for you when you were a kid! I saved you from that burning treehouse! I helped you with you're 3rd grade science fair project and you won! YOU WON! We took a picture together that i have kept in my wallet. And i proudly say here's me and timmy. ME AND TIMMY! TIMMY! But no...you don't need to know my name. Well good day sir. You shan't see me again.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What do you call a banana? A banana.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

-What's the difference between Michael Phelps and Hitler? Michael Phelps can finish a race.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Whats green, furry and it stole christmas? A Robber with a Christmas tree on his back

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why did Sally fall off the swing? She has no arms. Knock Knock Who's there? Not Sally

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why did the blonde get fired from the M&M factory? Because she was a very poor worker.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What's worst than your favorite football team losing the football? Giving birth to a stillborn child.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What do you call a burger made from children with Aspbergers? Cannibalism

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Spilling Dr. Pepper on your carpet

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Q:Why couldn't little Bobby read the bible? A: His parents weren't into religion and he was blind

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why did Beethoven get rid of his chickens? Because they kept saying Bach bach Bach. No. Beethoven was deaf. He couldnt understand what they were saying.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

A man walks into a bar He's an alcoholic and it's ruining his family

thumb_up thumb_down -4

what do call a dead dog in between two planks of wood? big sandwhich.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Knock, Knock Who's There

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Guess What!? What?! GIGGITY GIGGITY GOOOOOOOOO!!!!! (ALL RIGHT) OH.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

How many footballs fit in a glass of liquid. none, this football is HUGE!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Have you seen Stevie Wonders new house? No neither has he.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

what happened to the asian who failed his math quiz... his parents killed him

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What do you call a girl with an iq of 13 Dead

thumb_up thumb_down -4

A man walks into a bar. He is a diabetic and promptly goes into a coma after drinking.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

How do you get your lawyer to shut up. Hit him with a bat.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

A man walks into a bar........ gets eaten by a lion.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What did the girl say to the other girl? Nothing. She got hit in the head with a pineapple

thumb_up thumb_down -4

How do you get a black kid to sleep? A cup of warm milk and maybe a lulluby should do it.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops