How do you get a blonde to tell time? By asking her what time is it.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Have you seen the movie "Gay Men Say No"? Oh yes, that is very insightful documentary on the modern day struggles of homosexuality.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Roses are blue Violets are red I'm bad at poetry Potato

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He was dead......

thumb_up thumb_down +13

If a man dies in China, Does anybody care?

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. -Knock Knock. -Who's there? -Not Sally.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says 'Why the long face?' The horse says 'My alcoholism is destroying my family.'

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What's the difference between 4 and 6? 2.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Q: Why did the plane crash? A: The driver was a loaf of bread

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What did the hand say to the face? Nothing because body parts cannot speak.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What's red bubbly and spins around? A baby in a microwave

thumb_up thumb_down +13

When life gives you lemons, Life isn't actually a person so saying that would be irrelevant

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why did the chicken cross the road? He has to on his commute to work. He is a taxpaying citizen who does his 8-5 job to try and cut out a decent living for his wife and kids, so stop questioning the route that he takes to get to work.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Did you know Helen Keller had a doll house in her back yard? -No Neither did she

thumb_up thumb_down +13

A baby seal walks into a club.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What is lazy? My balls. All they do is hang.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What was pauls mum screaming? Rape

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Touch it gently, put two fingers inside, if it's wide use three fingers, make sure it's wet and rub up and down. Yep that's how you wash a cup.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What do Helen Keller and Beethoven have in common? They both died wondering what the hell their last words were.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Okay.. So a dyslectic man walks into a bra...

thumb_up thumb_down +13

why did the asian man get straight A's? because he worked hard and studied everyday

thumb_up thumb_down +13

How many fish does it take to brush their teeth? Jp's worth of fish isn't enough.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

How do you stop a blind kid from walking into oncoming traffic? .................to late!!!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Q: There was a cinnamon bun and a cow out flying, one of them fell.. who? A: The cinnamon bun because cinnamon bun's can't fly.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops