A man walks into a store. He purchases what he was intending to, walks out, and gets on with his day.

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What's hard and orange on the outside, and squidgy in the middle? A tanned man's head

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Waiter, there is a hydrogen conducting carbon nanotube in my soup. That is part of the special, sir.

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What's the difference between a man and a woman? Generally speaking- biology, except in cases of transexuality.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? having your limbs scliced off with a chainsaw and being put in a cage to get mauled by a Mutant Man-eating horse.

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car? Get in the car.

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800000000000000000?0?00000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000?0000 I hate you

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Why did the grandma stop baking cookies? Because she is an aging widow suffering from depression because her family seems to forget her existance as she barely lives day by day wilting in her 1 bedroom home.

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Q) A Christian, slightly disabled but perfectly capable man has a packet of Jaffa Cakes. He strolls casually toward the edge of a cliff, rapidly checking his watch. The man slowly examins the packet before gradually opening the packaging. First the box, then the packet. He quickly throws the jaffa cakes over the edge of the cliff, Why? A) The man doesnt like jaffa cakes

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why did the Mexican shoot himself? because his wife miscarried, hung herself, and his oldest brother had cancer. also when he was 5, his parents died in a car accident, leaving his abusive uncle to care for him. he also had erectile dysfunction which caused him severe pain. did i mention he was an illegal, homeless immigrant who was addicted to methamphedimine and owed several million dollars to a man who repeatedly raped him anally? he was.

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Why can't you fit 100 oranges in a bathtub? Because motorcycles don't have doors

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where is madeline macam? hiding is mjs cubord

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what does a beer and a priest have in common? They both are cold refreshing beverages, except for the priest.

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An Asian with a big dick.

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a man was cooking a tortilla. what did he say when he dropped it while flipping the tortilla? oops i dropped my tortilla

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What do you call double A's? Batteries

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How do you make a gorilla stop chasing you? You shoot him.

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you suck

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If the covalent bonds of two Hydrogen atoms and one Oxygen atom creates water, which subs are currently on the 5-dollar-foot-long menu at Subway?

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Being brutally murdered as you are watching your guts spilling out of your body

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Why did the Europeans colonise Africa Because they couldn't do it themselves

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Why was blueberry flavoured bubblegum cancelled? Because it tasted like soup.

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what did jacob say to coach a joke

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What did the man say to the woman? get back in the kitchen and make me a sandwich.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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