Q: How do you make a five year cry twice? A: There are many ways, as children are generally not that adept at controlling their emotions. Loud noises, threats of violence, images of scary monsters... those tend to work. Be sure to let them stop crying before making them cry again, otherwise you will have only made them cry once.

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Jims family is having a picnic. Jim goes and gets his food. shortly after he drops his food. Jim is really sad and goes and gets more food. Jim is black

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what do a pizza and a jew have in common? they both burn in an oven

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Why did the welshman cross the road? To violently hump sheep.

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Why couldn't the emo kid finish reading his book? Because he was on the titanic when it sank.

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If you could eliminate one thing in your life, what would it be ? My ex.

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what is funnier than one dead baby in a dumpster? There is nothing funny about the homicide of a minor, and the murder should be immediately investigated.

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how do you hurt sombody? cut off their legs.

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What did the aliens say when they first landed on planet Earth? We've come back for Anthony Davis.

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A duck walks into a bar Its theoretical comical universe implodes from the destructive weight of inevitable punchlines and everyone in the bar dies.

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What should you do when you're constipated? Poop.

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How old was the baby when it took its first steps? That question is impossible to answer due to the fact the parents had an abortion and the fetus remained unborn.

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Once Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked a guy so hard that he got a large bruise.

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Q What did Stevens mum say when he asked to be an astronaut A no your heads too big

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what do you do if you see a black man covered in hot greece on the floor of the bus shelter? call an ambulance...

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Why did Hayden Bryant walk down the street? Because he can, dont doubt Hayden Bryant.

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How do you create an antijoke? Story written by Danny and Patrick

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Why do people laugh at the number 69? Honestly I don't know, its just a number isn't it?

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Jane: The house is supposedly worth $ 6 million Jack: No way! The figure is made up.

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Yo mama is so old, the bone structure of her spine has decayed significantly since she stopped growing and has therefore shrunken in height considerably. Her face and hands have accumulated abundant visual wear; wrinkles, and has arthritis as well.

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why did joe diragi cross the road there was food on the other side

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Why did the woman fall off her bike?? Because someone threw a fridge at her!!!!!!

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What gets you a succesful life and career? Swag

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my goldfish never writes me back when i send him letters

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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