a man walks into the bar and say, OUCH!!

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I walked in ony my daughter masturbating. The whole ordeal was very uncomfortable, but I sat her down at the dining table to discreetly explain the necessity of locking doors.

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A blonde has a headache, so she goes to the doctor. The doctor prescribes some Advil, she takes it, and then feels significantly better.

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diarrhea.

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roses are red, violets are blue, I got pneumonia so now I am too

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What did the Buddhist say to the hot dog vendor? Make me one with everything.

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What happens when cole goes into a dark room? It's not possible his hair puts off too much light

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How did freedom die in Europe? It was shot in the chest with a rifle.

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Whats worse than getting in an arrow in the side of your neck Finding out there is a gas bill tied to it

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What's worse than a baby on a mattress? A baby under a mattress.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7, 6's boss, has been sexually assaulting 6 for years at work, but 6 needs the money too bad to say anything or quit his job.

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What did the arsonist shout out in the movie theater? Nothing. He set the exits ablaze and said absolutely nothing.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was the only way to get across

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You: Did u hear the one about that guy walking into a bar? Them: No. You: He said it hurt

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I'm on the seafood diet. I eat clams and shrimp because it is healthy for me.

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A priest, a rabbi, and an imam walk into a bar. Imams do not drink alcohol so this joke has a logical flaw.

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What did a man say to the woman with two black eyes? "Are you okay? Here, let me take you to the hospital." The woman is now healing nicely.

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what did the window say to the other window nothing they are both inanimate objects

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what did the man living in the box buy with his new found money? A bigger box.

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your mom gave me head.....phones

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How do you treat lice Avoid getting them

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Q: Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? A: Because she was a woman.

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My dog has no nose, how does it smell? Using its anus.

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How did the black kid pass his exam? He studied.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops