How do you get a ninja to do a backflip? Ask him nicely.

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How do you know a black man's been in your backyard? If you throw a barbecue and your friends of African-American descent decide to bring cold cuts.

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Why not zoidburg? Because Zoidburg is a alien from another planet and the human population is probally afraid to talk to him do to the potential danger of alien contact.

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Ask me if I'm a tree. Are you a tree? No.

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Why did the young boy die from Aggressive cancer? ...Because there isn't a cure.

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What did the customer say to the waitier? "I think I'll have the special."

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What did Hitler get his son for Christmas? An Ez-bake oven and a GI Jew

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why did the woman commit suicide? because 2+2=4

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There are two muffins sitting in an oven, one muffin says to the other; boy it's hot in here. the other other muffin doesn't reply because it's a muffin, muffins don't talk. Now consider that the first muffin was a squirrel, A TALKING SQUIRREL!

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Whats the difference between pizza and a Jewish person? Pizza doesnt scream when being put into an oven.

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What's the difference between Republicans and Democrats? There is a series of boxes which one can choose to check on a ballot, officially registering an individual with a certain party. Available parties include the Green Party, The American Communist Party, The Republican Party, and the Democratic Party among others. Republicans choose to check the Republican box, Democrats choose to check the Democrat box. Also Republicans are closet homosexuals and Democrats are terrorists.

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How do you get 500 babies into one bathtub? a blender. How do you get them out? NACHOOOS

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A duck walks into a bar and orders 2 beers and a shot. The bartender says "That'll be four fifty." The duck says he doesn't have any money and asks if the bartender can put it on his bill. The bartender says "No." He then picked the duck up by the neck and raped him mercilessly. "That's what he gets" one patron said. "Yeah, he was asking for it"

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We are as to jokes as atheists are to religion.

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Why did Sally sell seashells by the seashore? Because she has no arms and couldn't find a job.

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why couldn't the little boy sleep? he was being tortured.

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What has hands but isn't alive? A dead person.

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What do you call an overly-sexual, chewbacca-like creature that smokes cocaine and shoots heroin, while beating its offspring? Mom.

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Yo mama's so skinny, she should probably go in for eating disorders' counseling.

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How many men does it take to screw in a lightbulb...1 How many women does it take to screw in a lightbulb...2

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How do you make an idiot in suspense?

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Bob is asleep. Knock knock. Whos there? NOT BOB

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What is the difference between menstrual blood and sand? You can't gargle sand.

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What did the dog say when the tiger bit him? Nothing. Dogs don't talk.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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