An Asian walks into a bar, but the bartender asks him to leave the bartender replies "we're closing soon" but he secretly harbored racist views that he had not yet come to terms with and was deeply ashamed of.

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Why are anti jokes so funny? Because their not.

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What's long,black and wrapped in something yellow ?? A twix

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Your mother is so morbidly obese that she greatly exceeds the necessary recommended serving sizes of each meal.

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You might be a redneck if you have red on your neck

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If life hands you lemons, take them they taste good

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1: Hey whats better than bacon? 2: What? 1: Nothing. Nothing is better than bacon.

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Why does everybody look at the foreign boy strangely? Because he was ugly

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What's brown and liquidy? Brown paint.

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why did the black man drink grape kool-aid kool-aid refreshed him after a hard days work out in the field picking cotton

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I like playing in the balls. I like balls.

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If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.

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what is red with 2 legs? half a cat

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How can you tell if a woman is stupid? Yell the word "STUPID'' and see if she turns around.

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What do gamer see in his nightmare? a peasant build 4 houses and gets stuck between them.

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Q: A giraffe fell in a hole and died. Which was taller the Lion or Giraffe? A: The Giraffe was before it died

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What did the tree say to the plant. Nothing tree's cant talk.

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You know what makes me sick? Bacteria

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A man walks into a bar. The force of the impact causes serious head trauma and kills him within a matter of minutes.

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If I could slow down time I would have become a super criminal or something, no, my movements become slower also, ever heard of a game Max Payne? The character can slow down his perception of time and still aim his gun normally while he himself moving at the same speed as the rest. I well... when time seems to go slower, my thoughts do not, so yeaaah, Except my fast reactions also make me wear myself out faster to the point where I got injured a lot as a kid, like smacking my wrist against arcade games and stuff, broke my wrist, as a teen, still hurts when it rains, yeah weird but true.

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What's the difference between Tiger Woods and Santa? Tiger woods is a famous golf player and Santa is a fictional old man dressed in red and white who is said to live in Lapland, have an airborne sleigh driven by eight magical reindeer and come down the chimney to fill childrens' stockings on Christmas eve.

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What's brown and sticky? Dog turd

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There is a blonde, Santa and Jesus. Someone throws a million dollars on the ground who picks it up? Me because I shot them

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Whta's the difrence betwen a goat and a hors? The goat goed too eet the hors thre day ago!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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