So my teacher came upto me, and says "At the end of this ruler is a idiot" so I said "Which end?" I got detention.

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Q: How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if he tore his ACL last week trying out for wood chucking nationals? A: Woodchucks don't possess the ability to chuck wood, nor do they have ACLs.

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how do you complete an exam. dont be kaizen.

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Why did Lisa fall of the swing? Cause she had no arms... A: Knock Knock B: Whos there? A: Definitely not Lisa....

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Why did Jimmy not go to school? Because Jimmy, along with his family, were killed in a horrible house fire. Knock Knock? Who's there? Not Jimmy...

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How many mice does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Two, but I don't know how they got in there.

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How did sonic run at the speed of sound because he was fast

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Why did the man drown in the bath? He was a quadriplegic and couldn't support himself above the water.

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What's white and black and red all over A nun with a spear throug her head

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Men's rights Because its an anti-joke

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Did you hear about the guy who lost his arm and leg in a car crash? Well, he just died in hospital. RIP.

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there once was a man from Nantucket. I want to ride in a helicopter.

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what did the chinese man say to the convicts at the side of the road? so long gay boys what did the convicts do to the chinese man? nothing he was in a car

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what did the history teacher say to his class? Get your books out.

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A student goes up to the teacher because he has to go to the washroom. The teacher tells him that he has to sing the ABC's before he can go. So the boy sings, "ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ." The teacher said he did a perfect job and could go to the washroom. The boy went on to become a billionaire. Congrats!

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Chuck Norris farted and... several people looked around uncomfortably, not knowing how to react to the embarrassing situation.

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Knock knock Who's there Bill Bill who? Bill Thompson

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Something strange in you're neighborhood. Who you gonna call? The police.

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big fat hairy gigantic enourmous erectionn CC

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Safety in numbers? Try telling that too six million Jews.

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What did the boy and the dog do at the park? Nothing, the dogs dead

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Yo mama so fat, her Patronus is a cake.

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Why do people carry around spoons? Because they like to do them

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What happens if you don't stop, drop, and roll? Astigmatism.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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