Why didn't little Timmy get anything for Christmas? He was an orphan living on the streets.

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A. THERE'S SOMETHING ON YOUR FACE B. WHAT?!? *PUNCH* A. IT WAS PAINNNNNNNNN

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how do you find a ghost? shoot yourself.

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Drunk, a tweeker and a pot head are walking together when they come upon a huge wall with a large, locked gate in the middle of it. The drunk shouts "lesh shmash it down!" then passes out. The tweeker says "Dude, we should totally take the lock apart and see if there's some kind of mechanism in there holding it together that we can use to build some sort of machine for taking... oh man I gotta crap so bad! Either of you guys gota smoke?" and the pot head says "We should sit here and wait." I didn't say it was a good story

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LO LLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOPLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOLLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOO O O O O O O OLO LOL OL O LO LO LO L OL O LO LO L OL O LO L OL O LO LO L OL OL O LO LO L OL OL OL O LO L OL OL O L OL OLLOLOLLOL OL O LO LO L OL OL O

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have alzheimer's Cheese and toast

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What do you call something thats mostly made of wood, big, round and stupid A retarded version of the Knights of the round table

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Q: What's worse than a pile of dead babies in a truck? A: A pile of dead babies in a truck with one alive in the middle eating his way out.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I'm not good at rhyming turd

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Why wasn't the elephant allowed to the pajama party? Because he didnt have any pajamas.

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what did the gay man say to the pole? May i have this dance

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1: Knock Knock. 2: Who's there? 1: To. 2: To Who? 1: To whom.

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1-1 was a race horse, 1-2 was one too, 1-1 won one once and 1-2 won one too

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Ten green bottles hanging on the wall, Ten green bottles hanging on the wall, And if one alcoholic should one day stroll along: There'll be no more bottles hanging on the wall.

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What did the African get for dinner? Ebola Rice

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What did the young man's clothes smell like after a long night of partying? Laundry detergent, it was quite pleasant

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

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want to hear a yo mama joke sure Your dad

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Q: whats worse than 10 dead babies in 1 trashcan? A: 1 dead baby in 10 trashcans

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What do you call putting a toad in the microwave? Animal cruelty.

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Why did Steven Hawking walk into a bar? He didn't he can't walk

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What did one muffin say to the other? I'm baked... just kidding muffins are food and therefore can not speak

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where did my tractor go.

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Yo mamas so fat when she was standing on a scale a girl walked by and said hey thats my phone number! Yo mamas so fat she broke the family tree!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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