I thought about taking a nice warm shower, but then I realized that the power was out and it would probably be a cold shower.

Whats worse than tripping? Getting shot

Statistics show That people with the most birthdays Live the longest

Ashton Kutcher meets a fine cougar at a bar and the cougar fatally wounded his throat.

A priest, a rabbi, and a muslim cleric walk into a bar. In Syria. Dead children.

Adam and Eve ate the apple and felt a bit ashamed and stuff. God looked upon them and said, well its just a fucking apple get outta here you kids! Adam and Eve also took things a bit too literal

What do you call a fucking idiotic douchebag with ebola? An ebloa paitent

Why did the chicken cross the road? because it wanted ti get to to other side. why did the medic cross the road? beacause there was a seriously injured chiken on the side of the road, it had been hit by a fat man on a jog

Colin Fry backwards is yrF niloC

How many christians does it take to change a light bulb? No one knows, by the time they finish unscrewing the burned out light, a hi-jacked plane crashes into them.

Why did the chicken cross the road? He was suicidal

What is the difference between Julis Ceaser, and the moon? The moon is covered in rocks and craters, and Julis Ceaser is DEAD

Where did Adolf go as a vacation after the war? Hell

What did the monkey say to the garbage collector? Eiiiiijajajaajaja

Q:What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? A: Getting raped by a giant scorpion

What is worse that a bee sting? 2 bee stings what is worse that 2 bee sting? Kony what is wose than Kony? 3 bee stings what is worse than 3 bee sting? being allergic to bee stings

Hey diddle diddle, the cat and the fiddle, the cow jumped over the salamander, macaroni and cheese.

A man walks to a baseball game what does he see? Many people

Puns are terrible. I love them.

What two states don't have running water? Solid and gas

Why doesnt mexico have an olympic team? Because everyone who can run, jump, or swim in already in america.

Why didn't the skeleton cross the road? Because skeletons cannot live on their own and there is no such thing as a skeleton that can walk across roads without muscles.

I was trying to think of a joke to write, but then I became unsatisfied with my creativity and began to spiral into a depressing tangent of thoughts. I just took 37 Ambien, and have approximately ten minutes to live. Instead, I will spend my last moments writing goodbye messages to friends on Facebook and longingly looking at images of the past. Goodbye, world.

my throat Really started to hurt, like reallly badly, and i remember On sponge bob, he laughed so much his laugh box broke. well, my throat really hurts. please help! can i get my laugh box back? will i never be able to laugh again and have to get it replaced like squidward did?!!? please answer, i have a friend who would probably give me part of her laugh box, but she Laughs like a hyena

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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