Why didn't Johnny ride his bike to school today? Because it is Saturday

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? She is a woman.

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What colour is a black man in a freezer black

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What did the church say to the house? You need jesus

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A man was wacking it and then his internet went down he then cut off his own balls then his internet came back

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Did nims chinnie? Fins.

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hmm, thinking, thinking, SNAPPLE!

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Why was little David sad? His father got hit by a truck.

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How do you make a Chef cry? You kill his family.

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A Christian and an Atheist are sitting next to each other in a bar. C: Sad you don't believe in God, 'cuz you'll go to hell after your death. A:I don't believe in hell neither..

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How did the stuntman die? He was gored by a buffalo on a trip to Yellowstone.

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A blond, a brunette, and a red head are stranded on an island. They all die of starvation.

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What's brown and sticky? The stuff that comes out of your anus

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Why was the boy laughing? Because

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Yamum is so poor that she has trouble supporting herself and paying her own bills. Subsiqeunetly she had her electricity and home phone cut off, not that she would have any use for a home phone with her electricity cut off anyway. She sits on her bed and cries herself to sleep each night and has been thrown into depression due to her spiraling financial debts of which she can see no end to. This has led to several attempts to take her own life to hopefully finally find a way out of her misery and debt.

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When were in a zombie apocalypse I will make sure to save you for 40 days and then I will sacrifice you

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What do you call a redneck virgin? A seven year old who can run faster than her brothers.

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Listen, I cannot as much as I would like, to take the full responsibility for every decision my former followers might decide to make of their own, we are no religion nor do we follow any kind of doctrines, we encourage freedom but also respect for our fellow human beings, all of them regardless of race or affiliation. But you let me know whoever has as much as looked at you the wrong way, and I will make sure they no longer find themselves welcome within my order, nor anywhere else if their actions merit the firm hands of justice.

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What does Pluto and a creamsicle have in common? Neither of them are a planet.

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why cant little timmy ski? he was born without legs.

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why did the giraffe cross the road? because my dad and his "fishing buddies" are having another "meeting" in the basement. I hear weird noises, and I haven't seen my little sister in weeks, since the last "meeting." Dad said she went to a special camp for little girls. I hear horrible noises.

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A priest walks into a drug den, most people would say this is pretty contradictory to his implied beliefs.

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their was a black man in my family tree hes still hanging on

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What do you not want to call a african american that begins with an N and ends with an R? A Neighbor!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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