Why was the plumber sad? Because his family died in a car crash

Q: How do you kill a goblin if the fries are next to the sushi? A: Yes. Walruses have nostrils and rubber chickens don't like microwaves!

If a tree falls on a woman, and no one is around to hear it, what is a tree doing in the kitchen?

Where was Sally when the bomb went off? Everywhere...

what did the boy say when his friend was having a panic attack? "don't panic!" rather earnestly in the hope that his friend's breathing returned to normal as panic attacks can be very uncomfortable and place too great a strain upon the cardio and respiratory functions.

I'm a poet and I didn't even realize I was one

Whats the difference between a squirrel and a grape? They're both squirrels but ones a grap...

What happens when a black man dies in France? A funeral procession.

Roses aren't blue Violets aren't red She was my ex wife But now she's just dead.

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "why the long face?' The horse say " i have testicular cancer."

Why did the man have a bad day? Well first of all, his wife left him, then his two kids both committed suicide, then a large falcon pecked at his genital area. After that he proceeded to be hit by a car, and soon after he was hit by a bus. Following this, his corpse was raped by a transvestite pig, and then finally his spirit got hit by a plane on its way up to heaven, knocking it to Hell.

How many dead babies can you fit in a bathtub? Matters the size of the bathtub and the size of the babies.

What's long and hard on a black man? Second Grade

Roses are red, violets are blue. Your definitely a virgin, too bad your mom isn't too.

Why did the boy cry? His Parents died.

Roses are red violets are blue monkeys like you belong in the zoo but don't be afraid I'll be there to that in the cage but laughing at you

How does Lady Gaga like her meat? As a dress.

Kid- "Where do babies come from?" Mom- (commits suicide)

Ask me if I'm a dinosaur. Are you dinosaur? No.

Knock Knock. Who's there? Who. Who, Who? Shut up you damn owl, I'm trying to deliver a pizza.

Life is like the Titanic. You cruise along on course and everything is great -- until you hit an iceberg and 1,517 people die.

A horse walks into a bar the bartender says to the horse y the long face the horse is unable to speak English, shits on the floor than leaves.

Get Outta Here We're Closed!

What did the Blind man say to the deaf man? Nothing, he doesn't know sign language

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...