Knock knock. Who's there? ... Damn knick knockers.

An Englishman walks into a bar.

A woman wears a dress.

How do you kill a blonde? Put a scratch n sniff sticker at the bottom of a pool

What is rainbow-colored, makes no sounds, and smells like a banana? A rainbow-colored banana

roses are red violets are blue this verse doesn't ryhme and neither does this one

My grandma told me to always keep my head up and just keep going. She fell down a manhole last week and died.

Fox News

What comes after 69? 70

How many women does it take to unscrew a light bulb? Usually just one, and a ladder.

What is red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

What is more addictive than World Of Warcraft? Heroin

What's small, pale blue and sits at the bottom of the pool? "An over ripe blueberry."

What do you call it when Justin Bieber has sex with a woman? Intercourse.

Q: Why was 6 afraid of 7? A: He wasn't, it turns out 7 was afraid of 6 because 6 beat 7 up in high school

9/11 my birthday

Why is six afraid of seven? Because seven is a convicted cannibalistic rapist.

Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't because crossing through traffic is very dangerous

What do you get when you put a pig in an oven? A dead pig.

What did the goose say to the other goose? Honk!

What is the first thing you should do when a person is choking? Make sure the person is choking How can you tell if a person is choking? If he's going like this: aaghh gaghhg agghhh gaghhhhh ghghaghghgh

Why did the chicken cross the road? So it could cause traffic accidents.

What do an elephant and a can of soup have in common? Neither one can ride a bicycle.

"My grandmother has AIDS. They are really nice ladies." -joke by comedian Daniel Cupps

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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