What would be the worst thing to do to Helen Keller? Cut her hands off, as it would destroy her last chance at communication and re-arranging her house so she often fell nub first over chairs.

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Jack and Jill went up the hill, to fetch a pail of water. Jack fell down and broke his crown, and Jill came tumbling after. Up Jack got, and home did trot, as fast as he could caper, to old Dame Dob, who proceeded to get Jill convicted of attempted murder, as well as several millions of dollars for pain and suffering.

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What is the difference between a pile of dead babies and a Ferrari? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.

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What does a tomato and a human have in common? They both spray red liquid when stabbed repeatedly

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"hey woody can i ask you a question" "sure buzz" "why is it your name is woody but they use me as a vibrator"

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it's funny because it's funny

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Whats the difference between Osama and Obama? The S is replaced with a B.

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Why did Lucy fall off the swing? Someone chucked a fridge at her.

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A: Whats black and hangs from my tree in my backyard? B: What? A: Blackberries B: Blackberries grow on bushes

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Why did the toddler fall in the pool? He was irresponsibly left unattended outside and tripped on the edge of the pool. He died within two minutes and his parents were blamed for his death.

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why couldn't the boy talk? Because he was dead

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What did the monkey say to the garbage collector? Eiiiiijajajaajaja EIIIIJAAA

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Why did the Chicken Cross the road? Because it did...

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:Knock Knock :Don't be stupid there's no door here.

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How do you make an ugly person not ugly? Put a bag over their head. With,, a smiley face.

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A Blond and a Brunette are falling down to their deaths, which one hits the ground first? Does it matter? They both die anyway.

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How do you get a black guy out of a tree? Get a ladder and help him down

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Whats worse then finding a worm in your apple? Getting yours asshole clawed by a grizzly

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What did the captcha tell me to write? Tepsyto Dora

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Q: What did the egg say to the boiling water? A: It'll take a while for me to get hard cause i just got laid by a chick(: hahah.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I have schizophrenia, and so do I.

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What did the black guy say when after he jumped in the pool? Wow, its kinda chilly.

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What is the difference between a Jew and a Muslim? Their religion.

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Why was the plumber sad? Because his family died in a car crash

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops