Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he had legs.

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What is the difference between a duck and a cow? One is an aquatic fowl and the other is a farmland mammal.

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Q: What do they call watermelons in Indiana A:watermelons

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Roses are *yanks hair* Violets are *yanks hair* *sobs and yanks hair* I have tricolomania

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You know who can't stand to put up with my shit? Polio victims.

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Q.How do you wake up Lady Gaga? A.You don't. You kill her.

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What bouriquet got to do open HIS FACEBOOK!

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What happens when you cross a Labrador and a Poodle. A species of dog that has been cross bred.

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What's the difference between a black girl and a white girl? Nipple color

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why did stuart buy an ipad from the mall. because he wanted an ipad

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What do you call a fly without wings? Injured and left for dead.

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Welcome to Horsehead! 1. Our servers are derpy right now, do yourself a favor and never come back, oh yes they are gonna be derpy right then too! 2. THIS IS MY WORLD PEOPLE MYYYYY WOOOOOOOORLD!... ...Ps: My world sucks. 3. Antijokes 30000 per day, other stuff, Zero. (30000 by me) 4. You: People better like me because I dont like myself. Me: I like myself FUCK PEOPLE! FUCK YOU! (thats me on horsehead) welcome to die! 5. IRIS... IRIS! WHAT AM I TYPING FOOOOOOOOOOOOR!

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What's worse than a dead baby? Two dead babies.

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What has 2 legs and smells like fish A fish with 2 legs

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I went to the doctor & he gave only 6 months to live. I told him I couldn't pay my bill, he said "that doesn't change the fact you're going to die soon."

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Q: What do you call a colour blind person that smells like green paint? A: A painter

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why was six afraid of seven? prison changes a person

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How did I do in the running events? Not that good, I'm a paraplegic.

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why did the roof cave in? It was not structurally sound do to poor architecture

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what is white on top and black on the bottom? Society

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Oh please! Come on! Those that got to us where mostly Russians remember? And what where my parents? (if you do not know you might have guessed it by now) I found a guy that looked about the same as me, messed him up and put my jacket on him, I do not die that easily. Anyway, id explain more, but I have been without these fucking painkillers so long that I am talking trash on this stupid site again... Seriously the pain I am used to, but this addiction on painkillers is a bitch... (shedog if censor got a hold on it) But it turns out I cant sleep without them, sleep just does not come anymore, so Ill go get some now. Who are you by the way? I am Nero7, Aka Axel Knight.

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So there's a black man riding a bike down the street. A police officer pulls him over to tell him that his back tire seems to be flat. The black man says thank you, and continued riding his bike. Later, he would repair his tire.

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A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear. The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf." (props- Marty Smith)

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A black person tans and starts to peel, what do you get? A white person.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops