why do woman love the twilight books? i have no idea woman can't read

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How did the Holocaust start? Hitler threw a penny into the oven

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. Rhyming is hard, Zebra.

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Roses are Gray, Violets are Gray, I am a dog.

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they told me not to write here but i did

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Charlie Sheen Walks Into a Rehab Center.....

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What do you call a lot of goose in one place? geese

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How do you make a mime cry? Hit him with an axe

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If we had some ham, we could have ham and eggs; if we had some eggs.

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What's black and blue and hates sex? The ten year old in my trunk

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That was totally mean! I mean I was in no way going to say any of that to you! Especially not the last part, sorry that must have been part of the suggestion or something, I barely ever tell myself stuff like that, I mean stop it okay? I mean I totally read it and all but I was all like "I am notnot typing that" please stop it, its humiliating.

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You have now entered Automatic Breathing Mode

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How many amish does it take to change a lightbulb? Presumably only one, but since they do not generally use electricity it has yet to be tested.

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One day a object is flying overhead in a city and a man in a crowd of pedestrians yells, "It's a bird!" another man yells, "It's a plane!" No one else says anything as they stare at the two men that had become so excited about a possibly seeing a bird or an airplane.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread

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what did the pregnant women get? A miscarriage

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How do you burn alot of calories? Set a fat kid on fire

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Whats worse than a dead baby? Two dead babys.

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My great grandfather died in a concentration camp. The poor guy fell off the guard tower.

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I haven't left my basement in 29 years

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Why the moron throw the clock out the window? Because he was a moron.

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Jimmy: I'm like hey, what's up, hello. Jon: I've already met you.

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So I went to an audition, my friend said "break a leg" And then I did

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There is a blonde, a redhead, and a brunnette stuck on a deserted island. the redhead gets sick of being trapped, so she decides to risk the 100 miles back to shore. she begins swimming, gets 10 miles out, gets tired, and drowns. the brunnette gets sick of being trapped, so she decides to risk it too. she gets 50 miles, gets tired, and drowns. The blonde decides to escape as well. she is able to swim 98 miles, gets tired, and swims back.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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