What’s worse than being ruled by Adolf Hitler? Being ruled by Joseph Stalin.

A cowboy rides into town and stays the weekend but then leaves on Wednesday, how is this possible? He was alive for the weekend and died on Sunday, his body left on Wednesday. Now get a job and be happy with your life.

Why did Jenny fail her photography class? Because Jenny has epilepsy and she had a coma while taking the final exam. To this day Jenny is drain dead in the hospital.

Whats the difference between a monkey and a baby? Eating a baby tastes better with saltines.

How do you stop an oncoming bus? You push a stroller in front of it.

God Nero, Marry me now! I removed the nose thingie but it wont stop.

What did the octopus say to the squid? Nothing, considering these two species can't speak.

THis guy went into the bathroom with a girl in the middle of party and they started having sex but then the guy has to pee so he does... and then he leaves the bathroom and goes back to the party

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to his mother's funeral.

Duck: got any grapes? Lemonade Seller: no the duck waddeld away and never came back for the guy has no grapes

You look like Susan Boyle f**ked Snooki and then got hit by a truck.

What did the T-rex say to the elephant? i like bananas

why did the girl fall off the slide? she was pushed, by her dad...

Two men walked into a bar. Only one came out. What happened? One Passed out.

What do you call a 9 year old with no friends? A Sandyhook survivor.

Q: Why did the little boy who just got over a terrible sore throat fall down the stairs? A: His legs were brutally torn off by wolves.

A man walks into a bar He wakes up from his coma 21 years later and learns that humans now serve pumpkins as gods.

Why can't the black guy read? Because he's blind.

How do you get a baby to stop crying? Hit it with a brick.

What do you call a baby with no future? A baby dying at birth.

why did the chicken cross the street? so it could throw a fridge at you, you are very loud at night for some reason and you wake everyone up. the chicken then goes home to watch gay porn videos.

A man walks into a doctor's office and says "Doctor, it hurts when I poke my leg like this!" The doctor replies "That because there's a knife in your hand."

Wha do you call a couple with aids? 2 pepole who need immediate health treatment.

What did the blind, deaf, and dumb child get for Christmas? Cancer.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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