What did the man say to the woman before he had sex with her? "May I have sex with you, please?"

How many tickles can you give an octopus? Ten tickles

A rooster lays an egg on the tip of a roof. Which side does it fall to? Roosters don't lay eggs

Knock Knock Who's There ........................ ........................................... I hate doorbell ditchers

Why the kid can't get off the water? Because your feet is on his head

What would Bruno Mars do if he was on the moon? Gasp and grab his throat in an attempt to get oxygen flowing into his lungs with no avail.

Anti pick up line: Boy: If I could re arrange the letters I would put U and I together. Girl: Oh really because if I could rearrange the letters I would put F and U together By Adam Chebali

My girlfriend is getting an abortion tonight. Its a surprise.

don't read this

It's Christmas in Iraq. Merry Christmas

What do you get when you cross a rhino and a whale? Comment your answer:

what did one computer say to the other .........

Roses are blue Colton is gay

ecks! why zee?

what's better than winning a gold metal at the special olympics? not being retarded.

How do you save a drowning Asian teenage boy? You get him out of the water.

Who smokes a lot of weed and speaks 5 different languages? Rosetta Stoner.

ask me if im a tree are you a tree? yes.

What is not a car park? Clash of clans

Why din't Santa come to Timmy's house? Timmy died 6 months ago. :(

Why did the blonde do at the WTC on 9/11? Die.

Why did the man smell bad? He had not showered for several days

Why do turtles walk slow? They are physically incapable of walking fast.

What did the comedian say when he fell off the cliff? Nothing; dead beings are incapable of performing actions.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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