How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

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What happens when a black man is swinging in a tree? He is enjoying the swing set I helped his father put up.

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What's a Hillbilly's last words? I won't be here much longer, so take care of the kids. I love you.

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What did Michelle Obama get for Christmas? Cancer

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http://adf.ly/C8MqG

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world society

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What did Tiger Woods say when his wife hit him with a golf club? "Why did you hit me with a golf club".

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Two scientists walk into a bar. The first scientist says, "I'll have some H2O." The second scientist says, "I'll have H2O too." The bartender gives them both water, realizing that H2O2 is poisonous and that the second scientist must have simple worded his request poorly.

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Two black guys and two asians get pulled over. The cop says i cant let you go unless all of your dicks add up to 15 inches. They added up to exactly 15 inches - The black guys both added up to 7 inches each and the asians added up to 1/2 inch each. When they were driving away both of the asians said thank god we had boners.

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A chicken walks into McDonalds. He never comes out because he got grilled, greased, and seasoned.

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Why was the blonde fired from the factory? Repeated absences and violation of company policy.

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A black guy walks into a bar with a beatiful parrot on his shoulder. "Wow," says the bartender. "That is really something. Where'd you get it?" The parrot was his fathers. Do to severe mental and physical illness, he can no longer take care of it. He asked his son to take it, those were his last words as he slipped into a coma

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why did the baby fall down the steps? Because there was big earth quake that blocked his parents on the other side of the house, therefor leaving no one capable of getting to him befor falling

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How do you make a baby float? Two scopes of Ice cream and two scopes of baby.....and the holocaust.

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what does wtf stand for? what? i was asking you!

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A man recently set the world record for jumping into a foot of water from 50 feet high. Luckily, this made the clean-up rather simple.

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an athiest walks into a church

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One man calls emergency: - Come immediately, my little son has swallowed a condom! After five minutes, the same man calls back: - It is OK, I found another one.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, purple is a color, I like grilled cheese

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How do you get your clock to stop ticking? Hit it with a sledge hammer.

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a man checks his brand new cellphone to see if he has a text message... He has cancer

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How do you get a black man out of his house? you ring the doorbell.

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What did the rich white student to the poor arabian teacher? good morning Mr.Stevenson.

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A doctor walks out of the delivery room and relieves A nervous father, telling him that his new baby girl has just been born with great health. The father sighs in relief as happiness overwhelms him. With such great news, the doctor chuckles and continues on with the rest of what he had to relay to the father. Your wife died during the delivery.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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