What's worst than the holocaust? Coming home and having your parents say " we received an email from your teacher today"

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what's white and long and hairy? -Dean when hes on his period

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What do you call a man in Afghanistan? Either a scuicide bomber a soldier or a tep

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Why did Little Suzy get hit by a truck? Well the real question is, "Why was Little Suzy in the road," so why was she? Because she felt like it.

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Why did the pig cross the yard? Because the helicopter was chasing him.

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A bus full of retarded kids got broken on his way. One kid suggested to the bus driver that the problem could be with the brakes, as that kid's father was a mechanic.

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What is red and can fly? An elephant. I lied about being red. And I also lied about the flying part.

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How did the black kid apply for college? The Common App. Duhh

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What does a fish say when it swims into a wall? Damn

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Who job is it to protect the forest? Obiously a male and/or female forest ranger of smokey the bear. It's that simple.

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Why do jews get their foreskin cut off? Because they're jewish.

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Chuck noris is so awesome that he brings a knife to a gun-fight, and wins

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Why not?

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What was the only animal to not board the ark in pairs? Loads of animals because it didn't happen.

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Once upon of time there was 2 boys named Bucky and Thorn. They were best of friends and always came up with amusing adventures. So one day, during summer time before high school senior year, Bucky and Thorn went to go hiking on the mountain called Mt. Saint Lasik. It was the tallest mountain of the city. The city was called "The City of Dreams" because everyone had a dream that one day they will accomplish their goals. Well Bucky had a goal and his goal was to be the youngest to ever climb the mountain. However, Thorn was jealous because he as 11 toes. Since he can't hike they decided to go camping at Walala National Park. One day they saw a big huge bear named Pervus. Pervus told them that they were not allowed to be there. Thorn told Pervus to shut the hell up because he can't hike mountains. A girl came suddenly showed up. It was a girl named Sally. She was half black, white, Spanish, ad French, and she could sweet talk bears. Pervus said "Now it's time to boogey woogey woogey" and began dancing like a maniac. Police arrived. Officer Caleb Johnson was in the scene to investigate. "Where were you at the night of April 24th?" To which Bucky replied "To what do I owe pleasure of speaking?" Harry, his front door neighbor stole the cop car and drove off to New Guinea. God knows how or why Harry showed up. Coincidentally, Sally decided it was time to leave. Everyone left utterly confused. The End.

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Why did the skeleton cross the road? It didn't. Anyone who would believe that is a complete moron.

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Roll Pop? Depends. Are you applying a lot of pressure and licking in short, round bursts, or are you softly suckling on the treat? Your mouth's pH level is also a determining factor, as the sucker digests at a quicker rate the higher the acid content. To put it simply, there is no correct answer, because the sheer quantity of variables makes it a tootsie-less endeavor. See how I said tootsie-less rather than fruitless? Now that's a real joke.

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how do you get a scouters power level to 9,000? power levels dont exist in real life therefore cannot reach 9,000

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Q: Whats funny about the Holocaust A: Nothing

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Guy 1: why are you being such a douche? Guy 2: cause douches get the most pussy

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Aye I heard somethin about yo mom WAT!!!!!!!!! She a bop

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What do you call a boy with one eye and no arms. -Mean names.

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Billy was taking a stroll in the forest, when suddenly he met a bear. Billy remember what his father had taught him, and quikly lied down on the ground, pretending to be dead. The bear started licking Billy's face. Still he remained calm. The bear bit off Billys finger. Still he did not move. When the bear ate Billy's foot, he nearly panicked. But thinking of his wife and children he mustered his last remaining strenght, and did not move a muscle. If he tried to run or fight the bear he would surely die and never see them again. Then the bear ate Billys head.

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"Have you got any Saturday jobs available?" "Yes"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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