What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Cancer.

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that awkward moment when there is no candy in the van.....

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What do you tell a woman with two black eyes? Nothin. You already told her twice.

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Why are rich guys gay? Because they hang around other rich guys

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What do you call a blue horse with two legs and five eyes? A blue horse with two legs and five eyes.

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Why did the astronaut die in space? Just kidding there was no astronaut. It was a cucumber

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Why scooby-doo likes cookies? Because he's chub!

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Teacher: Pop quiz time class. Sally, what year did we first land on the moon? Sally: It was 1969. Teacher: That is correct. Larry, who killed JFK? Larry: What? I didn't do it, I wasn't even born yet! Teacher: Just answer the question Larry: But sir, I swear I would never do that. You have to believe me. Teacher: Larry, you're an idiot

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What's brown and sticky? "A stick?" No, poo.

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Can midgets still have big dreams?

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A man walks into a bar and asks the bartender if he'd would like to make a wager. The bartender replies, "no."

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He has to on his commute to work. He is a taxpaying citizen who does his 8-5 job to try and cut out a decent living for his wife and kids, so stop questioning the route that he takes to get to work.

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My therapist says that I have a preoccupation with vengeance. We'll see about that!

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How can you tell if an elepant has been in your refrigerator? It has been destroyed.

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How many babies does it take to paint a wall red? It depends on their painting skills.

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Yo mama so old, she might die soon

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what do you call a cross between lasagna and a human. weird

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A cockroach walks into a bar. The bar seems to have a pest problem.

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I am tying up hostages. - Ethan R. 2015

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Why did the cookie go to the hospital? Because he felt crummy.

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What do two Jews have in common? They both practice the same religion.

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What is red and has two legs? Half a cat.

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How many stripes are there on a policeman's socks? None, policemen must wear regulation plain black socks.

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A priest, a rabbi and a proctologist walk into a bar. Why is there a bar lying in the middle of the sidewalk?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops