Whats the difference between a baby and a watermelon? One is fun to smash with a hammer. The other is a watermelon.

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Cancer.

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Yo mama so old, she might die soon

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He has to on his commute to work. He is a taxpaying citizen who does his 8-5 job to try and cut out a decent living for his wife and kids, so stop questioning the route that he takes to get to work.

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A man walks into a bar and asks the bartender if he'd would like to make a wager. The bartender replies, "no."

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Why are rich guys gay? Because they hang around other rich guys

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What happens when the hydro goes out for 1 second? 1 minute? 1 hour? 1 day? 1 month? 1 year? -1.8 people die. 105 people die. 6,306 people die. 151,338 people die. 4,603,198 people die. 55,238,376 people die. Aw shit, then you have to take account for how many people die of starvation :\, and the ones who froze to death, and the ones who died from heat stroke, And the ones who died of Alzheimers.

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Chuck norris is seen standing outside a bakery in Paris holding numchucks. He just finished lunch

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A man and a friend are playing golf one day. One of the guys is about to chip onto the green when he sees a long funeral procession on the road next to the course. He stops in mid-swing, takes off his golf cap, closes his eyes, and bows down in prayer. His friend says: "Wow! That is the most thoughtful and touching thing I have ever seen. You are truly a kind man." The other man replies, "Yeah, well, we were married 35 years."

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Roses were red Violets were blue Until the Fire nation attacked Now it's all black

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A Jew, a Muslim, and a Christian walk into a bar... They then sit down and discuss the various political factors driving a wedge between unity, harmony and understanding between their religions. They resolve that despite the differences in religious belief, they truly can coexist, and decide to pursue peace among one another and the rest of society.

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What do you call 1,000 lawyers at the bottom of the ocean? A horrible boating accident.

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I was watching two muffins baking in an oven. One said to the other, "Wow, it's hot in here." The other one said "Wow! A talking muffin!" I went to my psychiatrist the next day, to increase the dosage on my medication.

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Black people being friendly.

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whats yellow after cani...nathan

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What is red and has two legs? Half a cat.

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Knock knock. Knock knock. Knock knock. I'm hammering nails. Knock knock.

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What did the one battery say to the other? Nothing. Batteries can't talk.

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Why did the cookie go to the hospital? Because he felt crummy.

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A priest, a rabbi and a proctologist walk into a bar. Why is there a bar lying in the middle of the sidewalk?

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Know what's funnier than the holocaust? Almost everything i can possibly imagine. The holocaust was a terrible case of mass extermination due solely to naxis racist views

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A Priest and a young child walk into a dark alley.... It leads to a church and he talks to the young boy about God

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Why did Isaac run from his mother? She tried to kill him because God said so. Christianity.

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What do two Jews have in common? They both practice the same religion.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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