Three Arabian men are on a plane, they stand up, and shout BOMB, BOMB, BOMB! All three have Tourettes.

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-What do you do when the dishwasher is broken? -Slap HER!

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Why is Chuck Norris so frickin awesome? He just is cause he's chuck norris

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What did the toy cowboy say to the man? Nothing, toys can't talk.

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Q. Why did Justin Beiber fall off the ladder? A. He was trying to reach puberty

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Ask me if I'm a tree. Are you a tree? Yes.

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If life gives you lemons, squeeze it in life' s eyes.

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If Santa's not real, then who pees on the tree every morning?

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Want to hear a joke? So do I.

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What happens when you put a white shirt in the red see on a blue moon? It gets wet.

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Dad: hi son Kid: (looks sad and looks at the ground) Dad: what's wrong son. Kid:I raped a girl. Dad:Who? Did you rape son! Kid:mom.

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My mom told me to shut up because I was screaming as I was strangled.

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Timmy: "Dear Santa, why don't you ever come to my house?" Santa: "Because you don't have parents, Timmy" THE END

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Why didn't LeBron James go to college? Because the opportunity to secure millions of dollars in salary straight out of high school was too lucrative for him to pass up.

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What do you call a man with no arms in the middle of the ocean? Mike.

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What Do you say to an atheist after he sneezes? Bless you. Its just polite

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What's sad about 4 black people in a Cadillac going over a cliff? It was my car.

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slaughter the mussies #EDL

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to its dying chicks who were just run over.

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When the mom got home from work, she was very tired. Her 6 year old son asked her nicely to make him a PB&J sandwich. She said sure and made one. Her son was very pleased and ate all of it. He knew he had a great mom. I actually lied above. The mom was killed by three men in hoodies in her back yard. They came inside and also murdered to boy. Worst of all the killers stole all of her food including the rasberries the boy was looking forward to eat. I guess it doesn't matter now since he is unable to eat anymore...

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What's worse than a papercut? Dying

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A man walks into a bar, looks around, and reveals an AK-47 assault rifle he had been concealing beneath his trenchcoat. He then turns to his left and fires repeated shots around the bar, to the surprise and fear of many. Then he shoots himself. The death total is estimated at 9, including the shooter, while the total injured is around 22.

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"Is this the Krusty Krab?" "Yes. What would you like to order?"

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A man brings his entire family in to meet a show producer. The producer says, "Okay, let's see what you got." The man then proceeds to lead his family through a variety of acts, including showcasing the proper way to drink English tea and how to dress for a polo match. When they finish, the producer asks, "And just what do you call your act?" To which the man replies, "The Aristocrats!"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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