A mother is in the kitchen making dinner for her family when her daughter walks in. “Mother, where do babies come from?” The mother than explains to the daughter the logistics of sex. The daughter seems to comprehend and walk away leaving the mother to cook.

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Yes, I did not begin this alone, but things got complicated, you know who Alex Knight is right?

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What did the man do when the woman broke up with him? He changed his facebook status to single.

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How does a black woman know she is pregnant? When she pulls her tampon out the cotton is already picked.

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Why did the Japanese boy drop his sushi? He was hit by a tsunami

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Knock Knock Who's there? Kevin. Kevin who? Kevin Smith. Oh yes, Kevin Smith that lovely boy from just around the corner! Come on in!

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What do you call a dead baby in a lunchbox? It doesn't matter he won't hear you.

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A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear. The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf." (props- Marty Smith)

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Don't wake me up. If you wake me up then I will give you a puppy. Just wait until you fall in love with the puppy, because then i will kill it in front of you.

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the awkward moment when you have a boner on your boner

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Whats hard and long and used to penetrate women? A hypodermic needle.

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What did everyone call the ginger kid? Jimmy as that was his name...

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- Mom, you have a banana in you ear. - Son I can't hear you, I have banana in my ear.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Oh yeah... You're mute.

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This planking craze is really taking over... my elderly nextdoor neighbour has been planking in her garden for three days straight!

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Kevin stinks signed Taggart. Is this how you do it!!!

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Q. How can you tell if a snake bites? A. It depends on if he walks to school or carries his lunch.

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A horse walks into a bar, it is then frightened and bucks a man in the chest. Animal control and an ambulance are promptly called. The horse is then taken to a stable, while the man is taken to the hospital where he later made a full recovery.

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Q: There was a cinnamon bun and a cow out flying, one of them fell.. who? A: The cinnamon bun because cinnamon bun's can't fly.

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roses are red, violets are blue. sunflowers are yellow, i bet you were expecting something romantic but no this is just gardening facts.

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did you hear the one about the elephant with a screwdriver? me neither...

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What happens when you cross a Labrador and a Poodle. A species of dog that has been cross bred.

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Two fish were lying on a bank. One said "I can't breath." The other one was dead.

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Q: What did the pony say when it had a sore throat? A: "I have throat cancer and only have six weeks to live."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops