mary poppins' handbag is full of dick

Why did the bunny give you a funny look? It has epilepsy.

What do you call a black man and a black woman having sex? A husband and wife who love each other very much and are trying to have a baby.

What's green and has wheels? The farmer's tractor.

Why do Christian protest against gay marriage? They protest because they believe gay marriage is a sin.

What happens when you go swimming in the rain? You get wet.

What has eyes but cannot see? A blind man.

What's the difference between an alien and Obama? - Nothing they are both aliens.

Teacher: "Kenny, what is the biggest mammal on land?" Kenny: "A stranded whale."

How many Polacks does it take to screw in a light-bulb? One. A person's ethnicity or country of origin, or religion for that matter, would have no bearing on one's ability to perform the relatively simple task of installing a light-bulb. Furthermore, there is no reason to use the negative slur 'polack' when referring to a person of Polish descent.

What do you call a black man that has just gotten out of jail? A former criminal who has served his time in prison and is now trying to redeem himself by becoming a respectable member of his community

Hey

Why did the leaf fall off the tree? Because it was Fall.

what did Dr. Dre say? Nothing you idiots! Dr. Dre's dead!

What is better then fisting? Fisting with a metal studded glove

What has eyes but can't see? A blind person.

Charlie Sheen

What did the dog get for Christmas? euthanization

A black man, a white man, and an Asian man walk into a bar. The black man says, "My wife died in a terrible book-keeping accident.". The white man says, "My wife died in a terrible lightbulb-sorting accident.". The Asian says, "My wife died in a terrible geography accident.". Soon after, the bar was hit by a missile, promptly killing the three men.

Why do black guys always have sex on their mind? Because they are men.

What do you call a kid without any friends? A Sandy Hook survivor

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Mets.

What's similar between a black man and jelly babies? Nothing

Why did the man get ran over by th STREET? Because he crossed the TURTLE!

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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