What did Sammy get for Christmas? Raped.

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Yo mama so stupid, she waited for the stop sign to say go

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An alien spacecraft picks up human transmissions from Earth. They continue on in silence and disgust.

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You know what's cool? Yep.

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What did batman say to robin before they got in the car? I raped your mom and she swallowed my load, k

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What is the difference between Barack Obama and Mitt Romney? One is President, the other is not.

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

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How many babies does it take to paint a wall? It depends how hard you through them.

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too bad about that wild ball, you otherwise played a fantastic softball game

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What is the last bit of snow to fall from the sky called? Nothing. Meteorologists have not come up with a scientific term for this phenomenon.

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A farmer hears a knock at the door on a rainy night. He opens the door and welcomes an attractive young man in. The farmer gets his budding teenage daughter to fetch the man a towel. He dries himself off, thanks them both, and goes to bed. He's gone before anyone else wakes up and leaves a fifty on the table.

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Whats the Difference between a corvette and a pile of dead babies? A Pile of dead babies is basically useless

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This guy dies and his wife gets him cremated. She takes the ashes home and lays them out on the table and starts talking to them. "You know that fur coat you promised me? I bought it with the insurance money. You know the new car you promised me? I bought it with the insurance money." Then she whispers, "You know that blow job I promised you? Well, here it comes..."

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Why was the boy in the hospital? He was visiting his grandmother, she had cancer and the doctor gave her 3 months to live.

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sorry son your nanas been put down

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Two pretzels were walking down an alley way, one was assaulted. In a instinctive move, the other quickly ran away and alerted the authorities. The assaulted pretzel was severely injured but slowly recovered covered from physical trauma and has now sought professional help to deal with it's great deal of post traumatic stress.

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If a guy has a sex change what is the first thing he would say? Boobies!

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dont be afraid of lard squeezing cause really its just me teasing

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Why did the elephant cross the road? I don't know

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Why is Stevie Wonder always smiling? He has flourished throughout his musical career and is a very accomplished man, as he has won many Grammys

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What is blue and has wheels? Grass- I lied about the colour and the wheels.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

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Why you don't laught when you see a black guy on a scooter? Because it could be your.

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Roses are red vielots are blue but they aren't as sweet as you.Can you be my Valentine ny choclate cupcake will you me my choclate

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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