Relax, anyway I hope its just the not not hypnotic suggestion, it would be really disappointing to to know that you are high on weed, even if it is very relaxing, not that I would know, I tried valium once, it kinda increased that sensation you have tenfold. Anyway, what I meant to say was, would you kindly tell me what size your breasts are? Do you shave down there?

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a boy jumps through a mirror and out a window then he fell so now he's dead.

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A black man and a mexican jump off a building at the same time, who lands first? Who cares?

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Penis

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Q. what do you call mexican stoners A. baked beans

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What's the best thing about 23 year olds? There's twenty of them.

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shut up elliot

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If you give a mouse a cookie, he will probably eat it then have a heart attack due to the high level of sugar in the cookie

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How many pancakes does it take to shingle a dog house? I don't know considering it was never done before, and that the size of the pancake would have to be taken into account. Although I would suggest you use a better material like wood, plastic, or metal.

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What did Steven Hawking get for Christmas? ------ ------ ------ A bike.

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What did the alphabetical soup spell for little Bobby? U gOt SUzie prEgnant ....... aGaiN

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A black man and a mexican man are in a car. Who is driving? The cop. The two men were best friends who had taken off from their law firm. The mexican, Alex, had recently gone through a divorce and John decided to take him on a trip backpacking across Europe. Rain had suddenly come upon them and a passing off-duty police officer had picked them up and took them to a nearby hotel. The three men had drinks and the friends had a wonderful rest of their trip. But Alex never got over Jenny leaving him. 3 months after their return John found him dead in his home by auto-erotic asphyxiation.

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What is the difference between a Homosexual and a Heterosexual? They are both Black.

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What did the fireman say to the people in the burning house I'm going to use this water for my sprinkler rather than saving your lives. I might as well use this for something more significan, like my lawn.

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What happens when you agree to disagree? You extend the duration of the argument.

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What do you call Madeline McCann at the bottom of the sea? Drowned Madeline McCann.

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Why is my girlfriend pregnant? We wanted an abortion

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Why can't Helen Keller drive a train? Because she's blind.

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what has a huge nose and is jewish??? Henery Miller!!!!!

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What do you get a Jewish boy for Christmas? Nothing he died in 1943!

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What do you call your mom after she brings a guy home from a bar? A very caring woman because she doesn't want him driving drunk.

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What is the difference between a calendar and you? A calendar has dates!!

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Roses are red violets are blue next thing you know my D*** is in you

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What makes boys so stupid? They like to play with girls' hearts and break them until they spew out blood all over the place.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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