How do you make a plumber cry You kill it's family

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A pirate walks into a bar. The bartender says, "You know, you have a steering wheel down your pants?" The pirate says, "I know, I was just raped by a group of men who thought it would be funny to humiliate me as much as possible. The bartender then called 911 seeing that a horrible crime had just been committed.

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A thought for the day: Life is like a game of chess. In the constant struggle for power, control and safe positions it makes no difference whether one plays white or black. As long as everything is planned and one stays a few moves ahead, everything will work out. Just don't annoy the queen, or she may send some very irate knights to fork you or a bishop to flank you. [L]

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Have you ever had Ethiopian food? Neither have they.

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why is pie good. because it just is.

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A blond, a brunette, and a redhead all walk into a bar. They order martinis and have a nice evening.

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How do you make a Chef cry? You kill his family.

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What do you call five black me pushing a car? "Very nice young men who helped me when I broke down," according to my grandmother.

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What happens when a man goes to college? He gets a degree and graduates most of the time or he fails miserably.

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A horse walks into a bar the bartender says to the horse y the long face the horse is unable to speak English, shits on the floor than leaves.

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: To get to the other side.

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two flowers in a meddow recently bloomed a cow came over and ate them, and the cow died of herpes the next day

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Three mexicans walk into a bathroom they all had to go pee.

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What did the Mexican man say to the black man? Hello, how are you today?

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Two muffins are sitting in an oven.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Seven drove two planes into the world trade center.

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What happened after Will Ferrell took a dump? He wiped his ass and flushed.

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An airplane flies due north at 100 m/s through a 30 m/s cross wind blowing from the east to the west. Determine the resultant velocity of the airplane.

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Why did the pied piper eat tea half past three? Because the chicken tripped on the way across the street and the fat lady didn't sing.

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Doctor Doctor! I think im turning into a carrot! Thats a side effect of the drugs Alice, We've just had your test results back. I'm sorry Alice, You've got HIV.

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Two peanuts were walking down the road. One was assaulted because they were walking in Detroit.

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Whats a dogs favorite thing to eat? Food.

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Once there was this duck. he was the best dentist in the world...

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Why did the girl fall off the swings? Because she had no arms.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops