what do you get when you give an eevee a french stone? Napoleon!!!

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whats worse then finding a worm in your apple? getting stranded on an island with your best friend and realizing several days later that you will have to eat him to survive. hours after eating your friend a boat saves you and now have to live the rest of your life knowing you ate somebody.................... oh and the Holocaust

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What's the difference between Nelly and Common? One of them is an artist and one of them is a businessman.

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: So it could get hit by a car, to prove that chickens have free will, and have every right to cross a road without any particualar reason.

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How do you teach an old dog a new trick? Answer: You can't

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What the difference between a car and a dead child I dont have a car in the basement

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Q: What said the first bagel to the other? A: Nothing! Bagels can't talk!

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What do you call an Asian man without any clothes on? -naked

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Why did the 100 year old man die? He was really old and his heart stopped beating after his BLT.

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what is almost like Jesus? Jesus

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Why did sally fall off the swings? Because she had no arms. Knock knock? Who's there? Not Sally

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Why did the girl fall out of the swing? Because she had no arms.

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Beating cancer. Guess Steve Jobs they didn't make an app for that.

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so your paddling up stream in a cement canoe, one wheel falls off. how many pancakes does it take to shingle a dog house? 46 cause bears dont like eggs.

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Q: Why do sharks live in salt water A: Because if they don't the die from blood loss because their blood-cells swell up and explode in non- salty water.

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How do you piss off a gypsy? Curse at him

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Sorry wrong door.

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A Jewish man with a 20 mile boner walks into a wall. Which body part hits the wall first? His nose

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why is walmart so big? Years ago a man named Sam Walton had a vision for one stop shopping and affordable low prices. And it goes without saying that being a one stop shop must mean you have a lot of inventory thus the size of walmart is a lot larger to hold and support the increased mass of inventory .

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Why did sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock, whos there? Not sally

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Yo mamma is so fat She has to wear big pants and is easily fatigued.

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Why couldn't Sophie brush her hair? She had Leukemia

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There was an american man on the way to work.

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You know what makes me smile? Face muscles.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops