what's worse than stubbing your toe? a hospital fire.

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Know knock Who's there The fat lady off her medicine ball Call 000

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Q: Holy do you get a nun pregnant? A: You have sexual intercourse with her, and have an orgasm inside her body. Also, in vitro fertilization is a viable, albeit expensive, alternative for couples who have difficulty conceiving by standard intercourse.

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How do you get a one-armed Polish man out of a tree? With a ladder.

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What did the boy with no arms and legs get for Christmas? A hat.

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What's worse then finding a worm in your apple? Finding Osama Bin Ladan in your refrigerator.

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I baked tonight. What did you bake? Brownies. What kind of brownies? Chocolate.

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What do you call your mom after she brings a guy home from a bar? A very caring woman because she doesn't want him driving drunk.

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Where do baby apes sleep? In apricots

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How do you create an antijoke? Story written by Danny and Patrick

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Chuck Norris was once approached by a woman for whom he had to fight a man to obtain all while doing a mundane activity in an unorthodox manner. He promptly declined for he is married and told the man he only fights for self-defense. He proceeded to put his pants on one leg at a time like everybody else.

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Where did the Jew put his money? In a low rist, interest bearing mutual fund.

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What did the boy with no arms get for Christmas? A gameboy

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Why can't Osama bin Laden make anymore terrorist attacks? He's dead.

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Q: How did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: It was dead Q: How did the second monkey fall out of the tree? A: It was taped on to the first one!

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What do you call a deer with no eyes? Noideer! No.Blind What do you call a deer with no eyes and no legs? Still Noideer! No, it's basically dead

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What do you call a bunch of whiteguys running down a hill? An Avalanche What do you call a bunch of black guys running down a hill? A Mudslide What do you call a bunch of mexicans running down a hill? A Jailbreak

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A white man walks into a bar. He orders an alcoholic beverage, and thinks to himself, " that made me feel a lot better. He drives home in his Cadillac and takes a nice sleep until 7am, when he is supposed to work. He is an architect.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting raped by Shrek

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A raptor and a Tyrannosaurus Rex walk into a bar. Everyone runs for their lives as the dinosaurs ate everyone who was too slow.

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What do you call a man who tripped on a rock? A man who tripped on a rock.

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This Haiku is strange There is a dinosaur WOW Snuffleupagus

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Why a man without hands and without legs want to stay in a barrel? He actually doesn't, but is unable to get out of it.

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whats up with that? i'm from jersy

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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