Why do children go to school? Because they have to learn.

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Pacient: Doctor Doctor i think im becoming a vegetable... because of my heriditory bone marrow mutation

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Why did Polly fall off her roof? Because her dad pushed her.

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Yo mamma so black that u can't see her eyebrows

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Why did the donkey say "Shit sorry I had no idea" Because the batteries shouted: "Nobody told me about your actions here, sorry for the terrible coding format, I am new"

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why do ducks have webbed feet? to stomp out fires. why do elephants have flat feet? to stomp out the burining ducks.

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How did OJ get away with murder? No one really knows. Probably because he an excellent group of lawyers

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Invention I totally meant invention! XD, now okay, you can have the top comment, ill even read it because I like ya a lot.

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Were you born on a freeway? because thats were all accidents happen.

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What do you call a giraffe without a neck? Dead.

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Why was the black man eating fried chicken? He was on death row and it was his last meal request..

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You have five dollars and Chuck Norris has five dollars. You both have the same amount of money.

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What has a fiery tail and is mentally handicapped? Charetard.

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What's the difference between Elmo and Cookie Monster? One of them doesn't listen to Michelle Obama

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What starts with P and ends with O-R-N? Porn

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Why did Sally drop her ice cream? She got hit by a truck. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sally. Why did Sally fall of the swings? She had no arms. Why didn't Jimmy help her up? Jimmy is a fish. There's a guy with no arms and no legs who loves to swim. What's his name? Bob. Ya know Bob's twin brother is in the same condition. He loves to play in the leaves. And what's his name? Russell. Why couldn't Sally swing on the swing? She had no arms. What did the girls mom tell her to do before she went to bed? Go to bed. How do you wake up Will Ferrell? You set his alarm clock to a reasonable hour. What did the fat man who had his car stolen tell the police? Someone stole my car.

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Why do black people like bananas? Because bananas have potassium which therefore gives them bigger muscles, which is why they excel at every sport we white people suck at.

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What do you calk a couple of friends hanging out? An intimate get-together.

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Today, I was thirsty so I got in my kitchen and took a bottle of juice out of my refrigirator, I realised the bottle was empty, so I immediatly took a walk to the store and bought another bottle.

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A man goes up to an old friend and says: "Help me, I just found out that my friend is gay! What should I do!?" The other man replies: "If there is no problem, I cannot help you... Yet, there is one. Your homophobia. I suggest that you see a therapist immediately and I hope that you can get over the fact of the contemplation of a sexuality."

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What do you call someone like Sarah Palin? A tragic victim of America's flawed educational system. But hey! She learned one thing though! Russia is right in her own backyard! Oh wait that would be wrong unless her backyard stretched all the way across Alaska and the Bering Sea. So she didn't learn anything at all. OK she's just dumb

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What's better than your mom dying? Chocolate Cake.

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A rabbi and a nun walk into a bar. They grab a drink and really hit it off despite their differences. After a couple years of happy dating, the rabbi, Mark, preposes. Gloria, the nun, gladly accepts. After four months, Gloria is pregnant. She dies in childbirth. The child has many illneses and dies within a week. Mark commits suicide.

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Why did the first squirrel fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second squirrel fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first one. Why did the third squirrel fall out of the tree? Peer Pressure. Why did Bobby fall off his bike? He was hit by 4 squirrels.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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