Due to the wildlife conservation program prevalent in the neighborhood, the chicken was able to cross the road safely.

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A dog was driving his car down the road right? Wrong dogs can't drive cars

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Whats black, white, and Asian all at the same time? A panda

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Whats the diffetance between a river and a waterfall? One is vertical!??

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Q-Whos the best server at Sonic? A-Kevin !

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Just think...there are 7 billion people in the world...so that's 14 billion orgasms!

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Roses are red Violets are blue Sugar is sweet And I hate Jewish people

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Why was the jew crying? He just found out his newborn baby had twenty minutes to live.

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Did you hear about the monkey in the tree? Oh no wait. It was a lizard.

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a black guy walks into a black bar

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What is funnier than the funniest thing in the world? Something funnier than the world!

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Q- How do you wake up Lady Gaga? A- You Poke Her Face

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This is hypothetical remember, just examples with no roots in real life events. The problem with your former employee, was that he would easily have played the victim, certain organizations would have paid him a fortune for the intel he had collected, and surely also agreed to let him walk away, and get you and your small (relatively) crack team death penalty on the spot, just like the underground, you would have been branded terrorists simply because certain people would have earned billions by doing so. The wizard would most likely have gone free, as long as he shared every tiny bit of info, then the cops, the feds, would have blamed it all on you for being his supervisor, you would not have survived the ordeal, trust me.

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What do you call a person with a cane? someone with a walking disability

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Why didn't the young child commiserate the death of his grandparents after they were simultaneously crippled by a tremendous avalanche whilst skiing? He didn't exist.

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jimmy walked into a bar, then walked out crying and all desperate seeing his wife cheating on him with another guy sitting in the bar. he jumped in front of a bus and was taken to the hospital. He died due serious injuries. Turns out that it wasn't his wife but her twin sister that neither jimmy nor his wife was aware of her existence.

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when i yell your name i probably want your attention :) S.H.

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A postal worker creeps past a sleeping bulldog. The dog does not wake up, and the mail is delivered successfully.

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Just Replying to Brock Facebook request Brock you should know by now that i am at your school talk to me there. Plus i loved the kiss you gave me in science. Now that tested my chemistry. Hehe. Emma Brown xOxOxOxXXXXXoOOOOO

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A woman walks into a bar but is promptly returned to her kitchen by an officer of the law. Later that same evening, she is beaten mercilessly by her husband for her outright disrespect for the social restrictions imposed upon her gender.

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When life gives you ponies... get a new life!

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roses are red violets are blue your mum is a whore as are you:)

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What did the boy get at the bowling alley for his birthday? a corpse. *from Bones

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What did the vegitarian order for brunch. VEGITARIANS DONT BELIEVE IN ICE CREAM>

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops