Knock knock Who’s there? Knock knock Knock knock who? Knock knock

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. I got a brother. He's bigger then you.

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What do you call a piece of Swiss cheese with human characteristics? Abnormal.

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How do you kill a blonde? By irreparably damaging a major organ. The same way you kill anything else.

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Pikachu says "Pikachu!" Squirtle says "Squirtle!" Charmander says "Charmander!" Ash is upset because he cannot communicate with his Pokemon in their foreign tongue.

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what's worse than a pile of dead babies? a pile of dead babies with a live one at the bottom eating its way out.

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What's better than finding a $5.00 bill on the floor? Finding the person who actually owns it.

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(Insert joke here)

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Q: What sound does a baby make when you put it in a blender? A: I don't know; I was too busy trying to find my camera.

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Its true... Chuck Norris has no hair on his balls. Because hair doesnt grow on steel.

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Why did the man stop smoking? Because he was shot in the face.

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Kim Jong Un thinks that he is in shape. And when you think about it, he's right. Round is a shape.

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So lion bites off a mans foot. He bleeds to death.

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What is funny about a cod swimming around alone in the ocean? Nothing, over-fishing is a huge problem in the modern day.

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Roses are blue Violets are red Is that really What I just said?

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There was a man with a job and kids. One day he came home from his job and went to sleep. He never woke up because it turns out he had a heart attack.

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What's great about taking a shower with a twelve year old girl. Pulling her hair back and making her look like a six year old

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How many dead bodies does it take to fill up a bathtub? Wellll.......... It depends on how big the bathtub is.

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I Raped And Killed A Little Girl Called Zoe. It All Started When I Raped A Girl In Her School, I Always Waited Outside Of Her School in my white van, one day the girl I raped before Zoe confronted me in my white van, I asked her if she wanted to see my puppies in the back of the van, she said yes, I locked her in there, I kidnapped her. The next day that girl Mysteriously Died. Iwonder how? Tee hee hee... The next day Zoe came up to my van, She also said yes about the puppies too! I kidnapped her and raped her. The next day I was rushed to hospital, I was revealed by the doctor I Had Been Diagnosed With HIV, I knew it was from her because she is the only girl I'd raped, So I walked home. When I Was Walking Home, I Was Thinking About How Angry I Was With That Lil' Bitch; I Was Thinking of ways to kill her, when I got home I heard her listen to; Bang Bang~ By Ariana Grande, Nikki Minaj And Jessie J. That Got Me thinking, Ah, that's how I am going to kill her. So I opened my cage and Got my gun out; I killed her. Blood Was Dripping Down from her head, I Grabbed the corpse and put It in my basement, after that I started licking her fanny, Drinking Her pussy juice. Then I drained all of her Blood out of her body and bottled it. After all the draining I had 600,000 Bottles. I Drunk one of them. and may I just say: it was delicious! After that, I went online and sold all the bottles to I.Am.A.Vampire.Com For £1million Pounds!! Man is now mega rich and I brought a slut and fucked her. I Now lift a fucking amazing life because of a vulnerable, Dumb Ass girl called Zoe. Thank you!!!!!

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men

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3 like an eel

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Roses are smiling, violets are trying to kill me. DId I mention I'm a paranoid schizophrenic?

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was an avocado

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A girl hears a noise in the middle of the night in her kitchen downstairs. She walks down halfway through the staircase and asks if anyone is there, as if the intruder will say, "Yes, I'm in the kitchen. Want me to make you a sandwich?" *This will never happen. Movies are stupid when it comes to these scenes. No one will actually ask if anybody is there if they hear a noise in the middle of the night.*

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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