What would happen if you insulted Chuck Norris' mother? Considering you did it on a messageboard that only unemployed people with no social lives use, nothing.

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Roses are red, The grass is greener, Every time i'm with you, I touch my wiener.

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Did you hear about the young couple that confused K-Y jelly with window caulking? All their windows fell out.

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What building has the most stories? The Burj Khalifa.

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Knock knock! Who's there? Me.

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Q: What did the crippled deaf kid get for Christmas? A: A motorised wheelchair and a cochlear implant. Good for him.

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Knock knock. Who's there?

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Nero, listen, do not try to imply that you created the Iron man method, that was developed by many people over the duration of many years in the former underground society. You seem far too educated to be the savage you claim to be, if I told you that our people will do the uttermost to see if we can fix that eye of yours and succeed, will you forgive my failure and imperfections as a leader? Look at it this way, I am a leader, not a ruler, what my followers do is up to them, but if they cannot understand that they have to pay the consequences behind their actions, they have no place within the order, as for the expression "my order" it is simply what my many followers like for me to say, not because they are unwilling to take responsibility, but as a token of praise. Our articulations and means of expressing desire and such are very much the same, have you ever been part of our order?

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An insane individual walks into a bank and asks for $500. The teller refuses since he doesn't have an account, so the individual pulls out a gun and asks the teller again. The teller presses the silent panic button, causing the cops to show up and arrest the gunman, but not before he manages to shoot the teller and the small child standing next two counters over.

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What do Michael Jackson and a T-Rex have in common? They're both dead.

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Roses are red Violets are blue This poem sucks Because violets are purple

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What did the blonde waitress say to the man with a curly moustache? Good evening, are you ready to order?; yes [x2]; and what would you like with it?; certanly; there you go; no, I'm sorry; right.

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Why did the hobo get hit by a bus? He wanted to kill himself.

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A guy walks into a bar and says, "I'm Japanese". The guy at the counter says "What a coincidence! I am Japanese too." He gets seated and the guy next to him says, "I'm Japanese too." The bar is in Japan.

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What's the difference between zev hatis and a dwarf Nothing. They are both midgets and are going to die by the age of 25

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A black man breaks into a car, he doesn't steal anything because that would a violation of the car owner's privacy.

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three mexicans walk into a bar... the bartender says get the fuck out!

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What's the easiest way to become filthy rich? There are many ways to earn money. Invest some time into researching the topic.

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Did you see my sandwitch? No. I am your sandwitch, and therefore no one thought to put me up to a mirror. Would you like me to? No. I have no eyes. And why are you talking to a sandwitch??? ...

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why did Susay fall of the swing? Cause she had no arms

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why did the panda and puppy get into a fight? how should i know, you tell me.

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Why did the TV not turn off? You need to use a remote.

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What do you get when you mix red and yellow together? rellow

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Whats worse than finding a maggot in your apple? Getting Raped

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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